Actual conversation with Amy

Amy: Mom, is there time for me to take a bath?

Mom: Sure, but I will warn you there's a spider in the tub.

Amy: Really? Then I'm not taking a bath. I'll take a shower.

Mom: Okay.

Amy: Why'd you tell me there was a spider in the tub?

Mom: Because I didn't want you to get in the tub and find a spider there with you.

Amy: You should have told me earlier, before I said I wanted to take a bath.

Mom: So you're telling me that I should have just known that you wanted to take a bath this morning, even though you haven't taken a bath in months? And I should have told you there was a spider in the tub, before you said you wanted to take a bath?

Amy: It sounds much more ridiculous when you say it like that.

Me: *forehead smack*

So far so good!

We've made it through our first two weeks of school – yahoo!

Amy has the most terrific fourth grade teachers – she really has hit the teacher lottery every single year so far, we are so fortunate. She has Mrs. Lowe for homeroom, language arts and Virginia studies. She has Ms. Pinkham for science and Mrs. Simmons for math. This year she's also in the FUTURA program, for which she travels each Tuesday by bus to Buffalo Trail Elementary where she has Mrs. Mapp. This is a lot to keep track of, especially since it's her first year of having different teachers. (She's going to be really prepared for middle school!) All of the teachers seem so kind and dedicated. She's got her friend Morgan in her class, right next to her (which also means she has the very best room mom, Valerie...score for everyone), and a few other pals as well. The teachers all said "Fourth grade really is the best grade" and I'm with them. Virginia Studies will make it different and fun and it's not quite the same intensity as fifth grade.

I am grateful for the opportunity to work from home two days a week (Wednesdays and Fridays) so that means that I can walk Amy to school still, and she can walk home...two days less of the CASA after school program, which she isn't crazy about. She still wants us to walk her to school, which is nice – especially when we think about the fact that there's only one more year after this where it'll even be an option. 

The FUTURA program is the gifted and talented program. Unfortunately here in Loudoun, as I said, it's a one-day pullout program rather than having an entire dedicated class for these kids. I wish we lived in an area where that's available but I hope the program will be good for Amy. They'll be studying structures this year and systems next year. The program is all about thinking outside the box, thinking of things in their entirety, working as a team, "owning" your work, and figuring your place in relation to the world around you. We hope it'll be a great experience for Amy. I know she doesn't like that she's missing a music class on her FUTURA day (also a PE class, she's not so concerned about that!). I think that's especially important to her this year since it's her first opportunity to join the school choir, which she is very excited about.

Middle school. Reed is in middle school. Wasn't I just in middle school myself? (Don't answer that.) He's at J. Michael Lunsford Middle School, which he has to take the bus to, it's a bit less than two miles away. The good news on that is there are so many middle schoolers in the near vicinity, the bus only has to stop one other time on the way to school and it's full. Living where I did in Forest Ridge, it was a new-ish subdivision and the schools that were closest were already overcrowded, and we logged a lot of time on the bus in middle and high school. Reed's got his good pals Robbie and Harrison both on the bus and so far we haven't had any issues with that. 

Middle school starts later than elementary does (8:40 a.m. to Little River's 7:50 a.m. start) and so far that's leaving Reed with plenty of time in the morning to take it easy before he heads out – he's spent some time each day shooting hoops, I think. They say it's inevitable that he'll be sleeping in, but so far he remains an early riser. 

Middle school is different now than it was in the olden days. They have an A schedule and a B schedule, which alternates. Language arts is the only subject that they have every day, the others (PE/Health, Math 6/7, Science, US History, Keyboarding, music [strings]/resource [study hall]) are all just every other day. This allows them to be in each class for longer stretches at a time and really get into each subject. He has a locker, which we know is already on the messy side and will likely only get a lot worse! He has to "dress out" (a term which strikes me as funny for some reason) for PE. It's all new! The school, which opened in 2011, has a capacity of 1,350 students and there are about 600 kids in Reed's sixth grade class. The school has a lot of different clubs that will ramp up in the next month or so and we're hoping Reed will find some that he's interested in.

We went to back to school night a couple of days ago. It was a really great event, so far we have been so impressed with the school. It was a whirlwind of an evening where we spent only 10 minutes visiting each of the classes (which was a challenge, navigating that two-story school!). He seems to have some fabulous teachers – his math teacher is in his 29th year of teaching but was as excited about the new year as a first year teacher would be. His science teacher was exactly what you think of when you think "middle school science teacher" – bow tie and all. His US History class will be his first "flipped" classroom, and is the first of the Lunsford classes to try this method where the students watch the lectures at home and then the teacher works on the "homework" with them in class. It seems to make a lot of sense, hopefully it will work well.

The other thing I'm finding fascinating about middle school is how much they focus on college and career planning. I feel pretty certain that we didn't talk about those things in middle school – heck, I don't remember much conversation about it in high school, either! The school talks to the kids a lot about how you figure out what you want to do with your life, setting them up for paths that will get them there (once they figure out where 'there' is). A friend whose 7th grade daughter is maybe not someone who will want to go to college has gotten a lot of advice about how she can choose classes, including vocational school in her high school years, that will have her not too far short of a veterinary tech license when she graduates. The sixth graders will take a field trip to a nearby college (Shepherd University in West Virginia) next month – they'll tour the campus, learn about college life and studies – in their second month of middle school! I've heard that toward the end of the school year, the kids will map out their courses all through til graduation (of course this is preliminary plan, not something they have to stick to). And the fact is that this will be here sooner than we think – for example, since Reed is taking an accelerated math class this year, he will complete both sixth and seventh grade math this school year. So in seventh grade, he will take Algebra, which will give him a high school credit. High school class, in seventh grade! This is really a potentially long-term affecting thing. I think it's terrific that they're giving the kids a well-rounded view of what their life choices can be. It makes me wonder how I might have benefitted from a similar program – it's really a difference-maker.

Many parents of middle schoolers in our area are really involved with all the details of their kids' school life. As I've written before recently, that just isn't us. They've worked with their kids on how best to set up their school binders, color coding systems for folders and notebooks, different backpacks for their A and B days. Well that's not just us. We are so fortunate to have kids who organize themselves and succeed. Is Reed going to do as neat and as organized a job as I'd like? Well no (partly because I'm a bit OCD), but how he sets things up works for him, and that is the only thing that actually matters. Last year in fifth grade they had to have this ridiculous big zippered binder with a shoulder strap, where they were to keep their papers. His was consistently messy, with papers going every which way, but he never lost or forgot to turn in an assignment, he knew where everything was. Can't ask for more than that. We are so lucky.

So we're off to a great start. Excited to see how the year develops for both kids – can't wait to see them grow!

I feel like I have to defend the fact that what I wrote about Reed is so much longer than what I wrote about Amy...it's just the whole middle school thing – there's so much that's new!! It is in no way an indication of anything except newness. Trust me, sweet girl, I am a second child myself and I know that "second rate" feeling – but that's not the case at all!

Remembering 9/11/01

I can so vividly recall the morning of September 11, 2001. It was an absolutely beautiful day, clear blue skies, just a bit of a hint of fall crispness in the air. I was at my cubicle on the 8th floor of my office. That morning one of our interminably long and tedious senior staff meetings was scheduled. A bit before 9 a.m., someone came in and said "A plane hit the World Trade Center in NYC" - my first thought was surely he means a small plane and it's just an accident. Then we all hit the internet and soon got the news that another plane - and these were big, commercial passenger planes, not the little planes like I initially thought - had hit the WTC. This was not an accident. It was the beginning of a whole different USA.

We anxiously followed the news, the internet slowed to a crawl, phone lines were hard to come by. We heard there might be other planes that'd been hijacked. I learned my sister Jennifer, with 2 year old Aly at home, was in fact on a plane herself, headed to Las Vegas for work. We were panicked at the possibility that her plane might be hijacked too. Indeed the plane that crashed into the Pentagon was out of Dulles, a flight to LA. It probably left nearly exactly the same time as Jennifer's flight. Eventually we heard from her - all planes across the country were told to land wherever they were. She landed in the Midwest, safely. Relief. Once she and her co-worker landed, it took them a day or so to be able to get a rental car (they were all snapped up) and then drive home. Jennifer had a different 9/11 experience than we did. We had that brief time where we feared one of our own family members might actually going to be part of this tragedy - I don't think Jennifer knows how really panicked we were for her safety.

That morning, our building was evacuated due to a bomb threat - perhaps this was just rumors gone wrong, I'd guess, not any true threat. I remember being outside in the parking lot, trying over and over again to get a line on my cell phone so I could call Tod to make sure he was okay, and to get reassurance that everything would be okay. He was working for Lockheed Martin in Springfield at the time, and had an overnight shift the night before - he would have gotten home after I'd left for work. We were engaged to be married that December. My calls went unanswered because he was sleeping - I called over and over before he finally called me back. He had no idea what'd happened. It was unreal. Hard to believe.

A bit later in the morning, I learned that my stepfather Jim, as part of his work with the Fairfax County Urban Search & Rescue Team, was called to help at the Pentagon. He spent a couple of days there helping to coordinate the search efforts. From there he went to NYC. I wish either of these had been rescue missions, not recovery missions. I can't imagine the things he saw. So many lives lost, so much destruction. What we owe to our fire fighters, our EMTs, our rescue personnel. It can't be overstated. And to think how many of those folks are and continue to suffer, how many have even died, probably as a direct result of what they breathed in and were exposed to in that disaster of a rubble pile. It is heartbreaking.

When the team returned from New York, there was a big gathering to welcome them home. Everyone got hugged a little tighter. We know knew for sure what could be lost. What so many had lost.

The day after 9/11, our community had a gathering on the town hall green. There were candles. There were tears. It was all we could do.

Never did we think this kind of thing would happen in America. Sure, there had been the Oklahoma City bombing, but that seemed like an outlier - one crazy guy who did a bad thing. We never believed this kind of large-scale attack could happen to us. And it did happen to us. All of us. Every American, whether they had no direct connection to any of it, whether they lost a loved one, whether they were supposed to be in one of the fallen buildings, whether they were on the planes, whether they died in the buildings. It happened to all of us. We will never be the same after having lived through that day. We could put ourselves in the places of those people who probably knew that they were about to die a horrible, fiery death. In the places of those incredibly brave people who overtook the hijackers and made sure their plane crashed into a remote area instead of whatever its target was. We heard many of their 911 calls. It was vivid. It was heartbreaking. We watched those planes crash into the towers, over and over and over and over again on TV.

It was all just too much. Too much sorrow. Too much fear. Too much pride at how, at least for a day or two, our country came together.

It is strange to think about the fact that Reed and Amy will only know a post-9/11 world. Their frame of reference tells them that indeed they are not totally safe living here. We never felt that way before 9/11. I am grateful, though, that they weren't around to have lived through that day. It has left a mark on everyone in our country who was old enough to understand what was happening.

Music is such an important part of my life. It's how we often tell our stories, it's how we connect. When I think of that day, two songs come to mind. The first, by Alan Jackson, was written soon after the attack and first performed at an awards show in November that year. It still gives me goosebumps and makes me cry to hear it.

Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?
Were you in the yard with your wife and children
Or working on some stage in L.A.?
Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke
Risin' against that blue sky?
Did you shout out in anger, in fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry?

Did you weep for the children who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know?
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below?
Did you burst out with pride for the red, white and blue
And the heroes who died just doin' what they do?
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself and what really matters?

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell
You the difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?
Were you teaching a class full of innocent children
Or driving down some cold interstate?
Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone?
Did you call up your mother and tell her you loved her?
Did you dust off that Bible at home?

Did you open your eyes, hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep?
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages
Or speak to some stranger on the street?
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Or go out and buy you a gun?
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin'
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns?

Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers
Did you stand in line and give your own blood?
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love?

And the greatest is love.
And the greatest is love.

I'm not really religious myself, but having grown up going to church, I can very much appreciate the comfort offered by faith. Hearing the song now, I cringe a bit at the line about not knowing the difference between Iraq and Iran - we were largely a country of people who were ignorant of so much of the rest of the world. After that day, never again would we discount the unrest happening in far-flung places - we need to know at least a little about it.

The second song is Radney Foster's "Everyday Angels", which in its entirety is a beautiful and special song giving credit to unknown heroes. The last stanza is about a NYC firefighter who was off work on 9/11 and going to celebrate his wedding anniversary with his wife, but heard the call, and answered it, never to return.

Dave was gonna meet his wife at a coffee shop in Brooklyn,
When he heard the alarm sing out.
911, he was running up stairs that he never got back down.
Down, down.

He was an everyday angel, earnin' his wings,
Trying to save people who are just like you and me.
Angel, living out love.
The kind of people we could use a lot more of.
An everyday angel, everyday angel.
Everyday angel, everyday angel.

I'll never forget that day, as long as I live. Thank you to everyday angels.

Where'd you go, summer?

Here it is, the very last day of summer vacation. I've spent the last week+ at home with the kids, and the week before that we were in Florida (Daytona and a quick trip to Orlando). This summer has felt both fast and slow at the same time. It was a new experience for all of us to have the summer babysitter rather than a full slate of camps all summer long.

I think for Amy, having Jessica as a summer sitter was 100% perfect. They have similar temperaments and a lot of overlapping interests - both of them would much rather be inside watching TV or playing a video game. I think they talked and talked all day long. Jessica told her all about "Doctor Who" and The Sims video game. Amy played Minecraft for hours. She didn't quite get all the outside time we wanted her to ("We forgot to go out" - what??). But ultimately I think she will probably always remember the time she spent with Jessica this summer.

For Reed, I'd say the summer was what he wanted for the most part. He logged many, many miles on the new bike he got for fifth grade promotion - the back tire is worn down! He wore his Crocs every single day of summer (except when we went on hikes and things like that) and has the corresponding tan line to prove it. He played hours and hours of Civilization and lots of X-box too. He wasn't so much interested in interacting with Jessica, or participating in the outings that Amy wanted to do. But he made do. He only ended up with 4 days of real summer camp (at Kings Dominion!) since his flag football camp was canceled due to low enrollment (such a bummer). He had a week of "Lions Leap" which was a half-day program to orient the incoming sixth graders to their new school, which was really terrific. But mostly he was at home. Where he likes to be.

Tomorrow is back to reality for both of them. One is very excited (that'd be Amy) and one is complaining (that'd be Reed). I hope we can all handle the transition back to the swing of school life!