Who's this big kid...

...who can fix his own cereal and juice? Where did he come from?

More on the birthday boy later, but for now...

On Reed's birthday, Amy gave him his gift (can you believe I've already forgotten exactly what it was?!? oh my) and told him "I chose it out special just for you" and he replied "Thank you - I love it!!" Wow, so nice!

A loss

Our visit to MT in July

It's been a couple of weeks now but the shock hasn't lessened much. Tod's mother Eileen Holt Larson passed away on November 11 at age 76. I think we can never be prepared to live in a world without our mother. I can only imagine Tod's pain. Knowing that our children are also missing out on knowing her well makes it more difficult. Who better to appreciate your strengths and offer you a comforting shoulder than your grandmother? The more I think about it, the more I see pieces of Eileen in Amy – her love of singing and music and being together with people. Eileen saw so many strengths in Reed, and all that he is capable of. It's such a loss that the three of them won't get to share that.

I remember the first time I met Keith and Eileen. It was probably 1998 or so and I'd come to watch my then-boyfriend Chris play softball; Tod played on the same team and his folks were in town and came to see him play. Despite the fact that I had a boyfriend already, I knew from the first time I saw Tod (also on a softball field) that he would be someone special in my life. Meeting his parents at that game showed me what a kind, special family he came from too. I am lucky to be part of it.

All the kids and Keith were able to be with her when she passed. I know she knew they were there, even if she couldn't say it. As others said, now she is finally breathing easy and not having her health hold her back. She's free from the many illnesses she suffered.

I don't think things will ever be the same without Eileen. She was the glue that held the family together and now it will be up to the rest of the family to take up the pieces and put them back together again and keep up those connections. It won't be easy. But she'll be proud of them for doing it, and she'll be watching.

Only wild-caught salmon need apply

Conversation a few weeks ago, near dinnertime:

Tod: "We're having fish for dinner."

Amy: "I don't like fish, I only like salmon."

Me: "Salmon is fish."

Amy: "Well, is it wild caught salmon, because that's the only kind I like."

So environmentally correct. Actually, it's thanks to a Barenaked Ladies song that she is of the opinion that only wild caught salmon is good to eat. Or maybe she's a foodie in training. Who knows!

Tonight's nugget

Tonight's little gem of wisdom, delivered at lights out by Reed: "If you want to build up your muscles, keep smiling and frowning. It takes 17 muscles to smile and 41 muscles to frown."

That's one to grow on.

Sweetness of epic proportions

On Monday evening, Reed said to me "I want to do something really nice for you, Mom." Hmm, what is he up to? Well, it turns out he didn't want anything other than to be kind to me. We must be doing something right! He said "Can you get me up at 5-something in the morning, because I want to make you breakfast in bed"....wow. I could do without the 5-something part, but breakfast in bed sounded pretty good! He negotiated the time with Tod a bit and a deal was struck.

Yesterday morning at 6:30 a.m. on the dot, Tod went in Reed's room and (in contrast with regular days, when he might whine 'I'm tiiiiiiiiiiiiiired' and not get up at all) he popped right up, bright-eyed and busy-tailed and headed for the kitchen. Tod steered him away from cereal (too messy for eating in bed!) and so they settled on a piece of toast with a honey smile, a banana and a glass of orange juice. He was so proud to deliver it to me! What a special day. What a special boy. Best breakfast ever.

Tonight at dinner...

We were chatting about our respective days and Amy said "Unfortunately, I didn't get to play with Matthew [her new BFF] today." Unfortunately? What 4 1/2 year old says 'unfortunately'? I guess ours does!

Wowee!

It's amazing - Amy has learned to ride a bike! She spent a couple of weeks learning to balance and coast - Tod took the pedals off the bike so she wouldn't focus on that aspect of bike riding. She spent a lot of time working hard at practicing balancing herself. On Sunday she asked Tod to put the pedals on, and he said she just took off! So she's got a ways to go before she is really steady, but wow it's incredible how well she's doing at just 4 and a half! She says "I'm gonna do it!" and then she does! We're so proud of her, but more importantly she is proud of herself.

Moving on up

Well two weeks ago Reed started first grade. I can hardly believe it. Though he would say differently, he was excited to get back to school after his first real summer break. His teacher, Mrs. Gill-Anderson, seems excited for the new school year, and I hope it'll be a good fit for him. We haven't gotten any of his papers sent home yet, so I'm not sure what all they're working on, but he seems to be enjoying all-day school. He's buying his lunch a couple times a week and being sad about not being able to bring PB&Js the other days (allergies in his classroom). He has "specials" now - P.E., music, art, Spanish and computer. Tod drops him off at school each morning and he goes to CASA after school each day. So far, so good!

Part of his daily homework is to keep a reading log - that's going to be interesting! Yesterday I'd say he probably read 8 or 9 books. I guess we'll probably just have him write down one a day. It's funny that he read a bunch this summer, but going back to school has put him in reading high gear - he's reading all the time and can't ignore his books long enough to even get dressed. He's also back to doing some of his workbooks that he loves so much, but that he didn't really touch much over the summer.

It's funny, we looked back at the pictures from his first day of Kindergarten, and he's grown up so much! He was a baby then! And he's doing much more for himself now - okay, so it's probably stuff we should have had him doing a while ago, but still. He changes the roll of toilet paper, he rides his bike around the block alone, he's enjoying playing soccer, and he's sometimes helpful with Amy. He's got an allowance too - we give him $4 each Monday - $2 he can spend however he likes, $1 for charity and $1 for savings. So far he has bought a few toys (Legos, Bionocles), some Pokemon cards and a game for his Nintendo DS. Hopefully we're teaching him something about money, but who knows. He's sure eager to spend it!

She's figuring things out

A week or two ago, Amy was watching TV and ran to get a pen and a piece of paper. She knew the TiVo list was highlighting the show "Cailou" and she wrote the word down. We asked why and she said she wanted to write it down so that next time she was looking at the list of recorded shows, she could compare it and be able to find Cailou again. Smart cookie!

Like magic indeed

The other day I was talking with Amy and the subject of email came up. I explained to her that I type a message on the computer and it gets sent to whoever I'm writing to on their computer. She said "like magic???". Well I guess it is a certain kind of magic!

> < and Alligators

Tonight Reed was working in a second grade workbook, doing math problems. He was adding two sets of 3-digit numbers (i.e. 341 + 126 and 213 + 481) and then had to compare and decide if the first sum was greater than, less than or equal to the second sum. I explained the alligator memory device - that the symbols look like an alligator and the alligator always wants to eat the bigger number since he's really hungry, so you draw the alligator's open mouth always facing the bigger number. We went along through a few problems and then he said "But what if the alligator just wants to eat the smaller number first, and save the bigger number for last?" Oh, just go with it, son, just go with it!

He was also quite excited about the possiblity that there might be two sets of numbers that added up to more than 1,000 - he said "Wouldn't that be SO cool, Mom?!?!?!?"

Say what?

Yesterday Reed said "Mom, can we get the real Clue game [as opposed to Clue, Jr., which we already have], because I ROCK at that game". HUH?

Lately he's also been saying things like "I am SO going to play video games when I get home" - when did Reed turn into Chandler from Friends?

I blame the older kids at CASA.

Reed is a bike rider!

Well it took a little bit of bribery (the promise of a new video game) a LOT of patient persistence on Tod's part, and a bunch of hard work on Reed's part, but this past Saturday, Reed rode his bike! In order to get the big prize, his mission was to make it all the way around our block without stopping - and he did it! And last night as I made dinner, I stood at the kitchen and was so proud to see Reed roll in the driveway on his bike, like he'd been riding forever. Woo hoo! He is still a bit wobbly, but with some more practice he'll be a pro in no time.

This development was not at all pleasing to my Sunshine Girl Amy, who cried and cried because it meant Reed would get a new game and she would get nothing.

A spectacular Fourth!

The last Fourth of July was spent in Montana, far away from any of the big, showy fireworks displays. We haven't even tried to go to any of the local fireworks since Reed was probably 3 years old....he cried and covered his ears and cried - it was horrible.

But no more! Victory! We went to the "Star Spangled South Riding" this past Friday night, and both kids LOVED the fireworks! It was like a whole new world for us, enjoying such an American tradition all together, with no tears or anything! It was great. Amy declared the fireworks "awesome" and Reed said "Mommy, aren't these eye-popping?". Eye-popping indeed, little man. We were beyond happy that the kids finally enjoyed a fireworks display.

On the Fourth, we set off some small fireworks at home. Amy was gung-ho to do sparklers, once she got over some initial hesitation. Reed, on the other hand, took a little coaxing and still wasn't all that comfortable. But still!

Future Alex P. Keaton

This morning, Reed was using our bathroom. He picked up a copy of Money magazine and said "I like to read this magazine, it tells me what to buy." Then he went on to say "I'm going to go to public college." Me: "Oh really, why is that?" Him: "Because public college costs a lot less than private college." Good thing he's thinking of such things at age 6!

"UMMM UMMMM"

This morning I came down the stairs to the sound of Reed telling Amy "You're going to be in SUCH big trouble!!!!! Mom, she's eating sprinkles!". We had Jennifer, Aly and my Mom over for dinner last night and they brought ice cream and sprinkles. Silly me, I'd left the sprinkles out on the counter....and Amy just helped herself! When she saw me, she still had sprinkles stuck to her face and was grinning like the cat that ate the canary. She stuck her tummy out, rubbed it and said "UMMM UMMMM". That girl, she's something else. But that's probably a topic for another day.

It's funny how different our kids' personalities are -- I don't think Reed would ever think to do something like that, much less actually go ahead and do it. Amy is much more of "if it feels good, do it" kind of kid. Boy are we in for it.

Sweetest boy

Tonight at bedtime, as Reed was gathering his Webkinz stuffed animals to snuggle, he told Tod that he wanted a baby brother. He said he wanted to hold him and snuggle him all night long, and have a bottle on his nightstand in case the baby cried, so he could just reach over and get it for him. How sweet is that?

Our baby is four? How did that happen?!

Amy turned 4 a week and a half ago – I don't know how the time goes so fast. It seems like just yesterday that we were bringing her home....but at the same time it seems like she's been the big girl she is now for quite a while. I remember what a smiley baby she was, and how she'd kick her legs when she was happy...how she has always wanted to do things on her own and not have help.

Now, four years later Amy is just a wonderful, beautiful, exuberant, emotional, enthusiastic girl. She can be completely exhausting with her meltdowns, but she can also be the sweetest, most loving girl, and the craziest fun girl too. She is always surprising us. Right now she is very interested in learning about words – she's always asking us what things spell, and she is pretty good at writing all her letters. She takes great pride in signing cards and drawings, and knows how to write her own first name, plus Reed's, mine and even some of her school friends' names too. She has a bit of a temper and she's not afraid to show it. We're working on getting her to tone that down a bit, and are hoping to have a little less of the throw-yourself-on-the-floor meltdowns.

Amy got three new "Imagination Movers" CDs for her birthday and is really really into them. She sees them singing their songs on TV and then does her best to remember which "Mover" is singing a particular line in a song. She is always amazing me with how she remembers complicated, long song lyrics. It's a lot of fun to see....though I do worry about how long she stays up in her room at night, listening to music instead of falling asleep. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I guess!!

So belated happy birthday to my sweetest sunshine girl – you are just so wonderful and precious, and I love you so much!!!

Brotherly and sisterly love and learning

Friday night, Amy had a sleepover at Kiki & Poppy's house, then Saturday morning I picked herup and brought her straight to dance class. Then we came home and had lunch and she took a nap. Reed was at his friend Harrison's birthday party, so he didn't get to see her until the afternoon. While she was sleeping, he asked a couple of times "When's Amy going to wake up? I need to bug her!" He really missed her! A bit later, we were driving to dinner and I turned around and they were holding hands, and they held hands for most of the car ride. This picture's a little blurry, but you can still see the sweetness. They really love each other, despite the near-constant bickering.

Reed has also decided that he'd like to help Amy learn to read. He brought home his set of "Alpha-friends" which are letters with a character of some kind on them (an apple for 'a', for instance). He has quizzed her a few times on what the letters are (she passes with flying colors) and what sounds they make (she does amazingly well - more on that later). The first day, he brought home the cards for the letters of her name, and showed her how you can rearrange the letters to make other words. He kept track of which letter sounds she had trouble with, so that he could bring those Alpha-friend cards home to help her work on them. He was very teacher-ly and patient as could be, it was really neat to see.

I wrote recently about how much the kids love music. Well, I can thank Ralph Covert (of "Ralph's World" fame) for Amy knowing what sound each letter makes - he has a song called "Abby's Alphabet Soup"...

Abby’s alphabet soup
Abby was feeling so hungry
She cut some words into letters, got a bowl and a spoon and made
Abby’s alphabet soup
She put in an A… and a B… put in a C… and a D

And for each letter mentioned, he makes the sounds (or sounds) the letter can make. So when I first heard Amy reciting what sound each letter makes, I was totally amazed. I asked her how she knew and she said "Mommy, it's in Ralph's song!" and I went 'duh'! I guess she's learning in many more places and ways than I realize. But really, this is a skill that Reed didn't learn until he was in kindergarten, it is so great that Amy has picked it up so early. I hope it will help her to learn to spell a little easier.

Couple of pretty great kids.

Victory!

We have been trying to get Reed interested in learning to tie his shoes for quite a while, with no success. Granted, the great majority of the shoes he's had in his 6 years have had velcro straps or otherwise didn't require tying, so there hasn't been much opportunity.

But when his report card came home last Monday, Reed was motivated to learn to tie his shoes as that was the first time he's been graded on shoe tying (he got an "I" for "inconsistently demonstrates"). So, we took him over the weekend to buy a new pair of tie shoes - he picked some cool black skater-style shoes, and as of yesterday, he is officially tying his shoes on his own! YAHOO!

Reed gets more self-sufficient every day. This past Sunday we took the kids ice skating (well I say 'we' - I watched from the sidelines, camera in hand, and Tod and Jennifer skated with the kids). Reed was like a new man out there, he was so much more resilient than he's been in the past. He'd fall down, but he'd jump right back up. Not a whine, not a complaint. Just got back up and kept on skating. I was so very proud of his effort, it was amazing to see.

This was Amy's first time ever on skates. Despite the fact that the only open skate of the day fell smack in the middle of when Amy should've been napping, she did great! She tried so hard, and really really didn't like falling down a lot, but she was a trooper. We'll see what happens the next time we try to get her on skates!

More about music

At times I kick myself for having allowed the kids their own musical choices when we're in the car, especially going to and from child care. Way back when it was just Reed and I in the car, I'd have a selection of CDs to fill our 6-CD player and he'd choose what he wanted to listen to. Of course now we've (thankfully) progressed to having an iPod so we have access to every bit of our kids music library - which means even more requests for specific songs are coming out of the back seat. Not to mention the approximately eight million times I've been asked to turn the music up or down (ugh!).

And while this does drive me a bit crazy, and while I would love to be able to listen to my own favorite music, I realized the other day what a valuable lesson they've getting -- they've learned to love music because they can connect to it. These folks sing songs that really mean something to the kids - they sing about the alphabet, counting, dancing, losing (and finding) a favorite toy, cleaning up, wearing hand-me-downs, going on trips. So I'll happily go along with it. Music loving kids = happy Mama.

Wordplay

Amy is so into music - which is wonderful because it's something we can share. We've gotten two new CDs recently by a children's artist named Brady Rymer. Today in the car we were listening to one of his CDs and Amy asked me "Why doesn't Brady Rymer have braids in his hair?" - I chuckled and tried to explain that the name 'Brady' is different than the word 'braid'.

As long as she's been able to talk in complete sentences, Amy has been such a complimentary and sweet girl. Yesterday as we celebrated Great Grandma and Great Granddaddy Allder's 60th wedding anniversary, Amy said to me "Doesn't Nikki look so beautiful today? She got her hair cut." She's always telling me things like "I like your shirt, Mommy" and giving other compliments. Such a sweetie. Most of the time. :)

"Wow Mom, your Nana was a lot smaller than our Nana"

That's what Amy said when she saw a picture of her Nana (Janet Allder) with my Nana (Lena Patton). Exhibit A:

Keeping the tooth fairy busy

Saturday morning at breakfast, Reed's lower front tooth on the left side was literally hanging on by a thread. YUCK! But he wouldn't let me try to pull it. Instead he went upstairs and brushed his teeth, and thank goodness it came out. Whew! What a relief. So now he's missing both front bottom teeth, but doesn't seem to have any other loose teeth for the moment. He was very excited for the tooth fairy to come again and leave him another shiny gold dollar.

The tooth fairy's coming!!

Big news in our house today! Reed popped up at 6 a.m. on the dot and said "Guess what! My tooth came out!" - he'd been working on it for a day or so, wiggling it back and forth. He was so very excited about it, he'd been waiting so long and so impatiently! What a big guy.

2007 Amy...and then I'm (nearly) up to date!

January 2007

• 1/3/07 – You are talking so much, with a lot of sentences! Mostly you want to tell us that you'll do things yourself ("Amy do it!!!!") and that you want to be included ("Amy too!"). All 4 eyeteeth are coming through. You love to wear "pretty dresses" and you’re very polite, always saying thank you and bless you.


• 1/4/07 – Last night Amy got the "Good Night, Gorilla" book out and said "Amy read it"...sat down and went through each page, saying something about each one...right down to the different "voices" for all the animals saying "good night" in the dark, then the surprised sound the zookeeper's wife makes after hearing all those good nights. Amazing!


• 1/10/07 – Amy learned to say "what's that?" -- she says it 'wassat?' and says it frequently!


• 1/12/07 – Amy is a big sleeper, just like her Mama. Reed pops up bright and ready to go, but Amy takes a couple of minutes to warm up.


• 1/23/07 – Amy can pretty much recite the whole alphabet and can count to 12. Sometimes Amy sings herself to sleep (“Twinkle, Twinkle” or “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes”). Most frequently-used phrases: "Amy do it!" or "Do it Amy's self"


• 1/29/07 – Last night when I put Amy to bed, she told me "Mommy never far Amy" before I even got to tell her "Mommy's never far away from Amy", which I say every time I put her to bed. The other day Amy jumped on her "big girl bed" and said "Amy hop like rabbit". Latest favorite song is "Baa baa black sheep have you any wool" (that’s the song’s complete title, in her mind).

February 2007

• 2/22/07 – Amy sings the whole alphabet now.

March 2007

• 3/1/07 – Your first dentist visit! We went to a pediatric dentist and you were 100% cooperative – probably since you got to choose a show to watch right there at the chair (Dora, of course). The hygienist was surprised that you let her do all the cleaning she wanted. You had some plaque on your front bottom teeth which you've had pretty much since your teeth came in, despite all the brushing. You did great.


• 3/2/07 – Amy is becoming quite antagonistic to Reed! If he's playing with something like Little People, she'll grab a couple and run away, grinning. Once she even took them, went all the way upstairs, jumped on her "big girl" bed and threw them behind her bed, then just laughed! Oh goodness.


• 3/5/07 – Amy likes to sing, sometimes even singing herself to sleep. Sometimes she can get a bunch of the words to "Baby Mine" when we sing it.


• 3/11/07 – On school days we fix a small bag of cereal for the kids to have in the car, with some juice. Today we went to Kiki & Poppy's to have breakfast and pick Reed up from his sleepover and about halfway there, Amy said "Oh no we forgot cereal!"


• 3/12/07 – Amy can spell her name! She is very excited about her upcoming birthday – she can hold up two fingers and is practicing singing happy birthday and blowing out the candles.


• 3/12/07 – Putting Amy to bed, I asked who her favorite teacher was - she said "Kathy, Kari, Nellie, Tina.....that's it" – well that is ALL of her teachers (except her actual favorite, Heather, who's on maternity leave).


• 3/18/07 – Amy dramatically threw herself on the floor, upset over something (again). I jokingly said "oh goodness, Amy's life is so hard!" and a few minutes later she got up, threw herself face down on the recliner and said "Amy life so hard" in the most pathetic voice! Amy is getting much better at singing "Baa Baa Black Sheep" and "Twinkle Twinkle", which she still calls "Twinkle Twinkle Wonder What You Are". Often tells us "Amy needs Amy's Kiki" or Reedy. Loves her big brother so much.


• 3/24/07 – We had your family birthday party today. You just wanted to stop and play with each thing you opened, you didn't really want to just open present after present after present (there were a lot!) without being allowed to play with everything. Your favorite gift was probably the rocking baby doll bed.


• 3/27/07 – You had your two year old check up. The doctor was very amazed at your speech -- you said "I wash my hands, please?" and she said "Wow - that was a five word sentence!!!"


• 3/29/07 – Here's your current bedtime routine - Dad and I take turns each night putting you to bed. We read 3 books then you climb into your big girl bed and sometimes I sing you songs, sometimes we sing together. Then I tell you good night and you fall asleep on your own - lately you don't even fuss for more than a second.


• 3/31/07 – Amy can draw circles! Wow. You also pretend to write your name.

April 2007

• 4/1/07 – About 4 out of the last 7 days, you've woken up in the morning with a dry diaper, and then go potty right after you get up. Go Amy!


• 4/6/07 – We saw the Easter Bunny at the grocery store...Amy said "No I sit on that big bunny's lap, Mommy!"


• 4/7/07 – Going to bed, I mentioned the Easter Bunny coming and Amy burst into tears!!! She was really afraid – I had to reassure her that the Easter Bunny wouldn't come to her room. :( Also when I said the Easter Bunny would bring her presents, she cried and said "No I need presents - I already have presents!" Traumatized by the grocery store Easter Bunny sighting! Aunt Jennifer and cousin Kyle are visiting – you are so happy to have them here! You took a nap with Jennifer today and are really loving playing with both of them.


• 4/17/07 – Amy's been crawling into bed with us every night somewhere around 4 a.m. She stumbles down the hall and climbs right in. Last night I put my hand on her and she said "Keep you hand to you self, mommy". Ha!


• 4/27/07 – When did you turn into a big kid? You are so independent-minded and amazing. You want to dress yourself and even change your own diapers. We try to let you do that when we have time to fuss with it, and you get really upset if we go ahead and put your diaper on for you. You are also getting more bold with your disobedience, as would be expected of your age.

June 2007

• 6/19/07 – You can be so amazingly determined when you want to be. You want to do most things yourself - get dressed, get into your car seat, get strapped into your car seat, etc. Yesterday you spent a good deal of time trying to get your Tinker Bell backpack on...and eventually got it, with no help! At the same time, some things you already tell us "I can't" when we ask you to do them yourself. We work hard to show you how to do things on your own.


• 6/22/07 – You love to sing! Sometimes even sing different words to a familiar melody.


• 6/30/07 – The Keith Whitley song "Miami, My Amy" was on the radio. At the end, he sings "Miami my Amy loves me after all" and you said "No, that said I love that guy - no I love that guy!" Sharp as a tack!

July 2007

• 7/3/07 – As we were driving home from school, Reed realized had forgotten a goody bag at his classroom. Amy said "I'm sorry Reed we're not turning around because school is closing all our friends and teachers going home I'm sorry." Are you sure you’re only two?


• 7/4/07 – Keeps singing "Happy Birthday" to America!


• 7/7/07 – Got a real big girl (twin) bed!


• 7/8/07 – Went bowling for the first time.


• 7/9/07 – This morning Amy excitedly said "I get a pony for Christmas!" No idea where that came from.


• 7/15/07 – Amy's first haircut! She sat very still for most of the cut but got wiggly by the end. I am happy because it seems your hair will still be curly - everyone had been saying that once it was cut, the curls might go away. I hope you'll keep your curls!

August 2007

• 8/6/07 - You have been drawing stick people for a while now - amazing. Right now they all have heads, eyes, mouth, ears, hair and legs. I continue to be surprised by you.


• 8/8/07 - Amy has been saying "playbound" instead of "playground" (trouble with the 'gr' sound)...she now is able to say it right, with a whole lot of effort and thought. So proud of how hard you worked on that, but it's a sure sign you're not a baby anymore.


• 8/9/07 – Tod and Reed left for a 5 day trip to MT this morning - driving home from school, Amy said "We missing two boys, mommy, Reedy and daddy!"


• 8/30/07 – About two months ago we were at an outdoor BBQ in a backyard and you got eaten up by mosquitoes (sorry!!!)...we've now found out that you must be a pretty tasty little girl because you get mosquito bites all the time, even when no one around you is getting bitten. And unfortunately they affect you very strongly - even blistering up. Lately you can't seem to be outside for more than 2 minutes without getting a bite. Poor little girly!


• 8/31/07 – Amy said “two kinds of cranes - ones in the water and ones in the road” (there was a big crane doing road work). So observant.

September 2007

• 9/27/07 – Amy is working on using her words and naming how she feels. Tonight in the car on the way to celebrate Auntie Wanda's birthday, she was drawing on the DoodlePro and saying "You making me angry, DoodlePro!!" and "That feel me angry!!"

October 2007

• 10/13/07– This morning, like most weekend mornings, Reed and Amy woke up early. I told them we needed them to do the opposite – sleep late on the weekends and get up early on school days. Reed said something about how to switch and Amy said "I get my magic wand!" and ran off to her bedroom to get it. Oh, if only that'd work!


• 10/29/07 – Amy said "I balleting, mommy!"


• 10/31/07 – After trick or treating, Amy said "That a fun time for Halloween!" Reed was VERY clear with everyone that he was a veterinarian, not a doctor. Amy also corrected people on his behalf, telling them very clearly "he not a doctor, he a veterinarian." The kids had a great time with the holiday, both tonight and at the South Riding Halloween parade on Sunday.

November 2007

Random thoughts on both kids….the kids keep wandering into our room most nights. We try to make ourselves return you to your beds, but it doesn't always happen, which is unfortunate for me because I don't usually get restful sleep when you're there (too much wiggling around). Though it is really cozy having all four of us there, especially on a weekend morning. I know it won't be long before you'll be too big for all that. Amy usually lumbers down the hall with her little pillow and her blanket in her hand, happy to climb up in bed with us. Amy seems eager to sleep at both nap and bedtime, while for Reed it still seems to be a necessary evil. I think he would stay up all night if his body would let him, just reading books and doing puzzles and BrainQuest games. Amy wakes up generally very refreshed and happy. Reed continues to have night terrors when he's overtired – it's really hard because he just cries out, no words other than sometimes "no no no". He's still asleep and even having us come to his room doesn't help – he doesn't know we're there. It usually passes after a few minutes. We hadn't mentioned this to Mom and Jim before, and a couple of months ago Reed was having a sleepover and had an episode - they were scared and didn't know what to do but quickly figured out he was still asleep and they just needed to make sure he stayed safe. I hope this phase passes pretty soon because it leads to an un-restful night for all of us (well, Amy snoozes right through it). Yesterday Reed asked when he was going back to "learn more for kindergarten" – when we did the IQ testing with the psychologist, we told him it was to help us get him ready for kindergarten, so that's what he thinks it was. He really enjoyed all the different tests. Reed is doing really great in his class at school - they have switched to mixed age groups, which means there are kids that are close to his age all the way down to kids who are around 3 years old. He helps the other kids, just like he can really help Amy by explaining things to her so she can understand. Reed is reading so incredibly well and continues to be very interested in learning new things. He also is big on knock-knock and other jokes, which Amy tries to copy. We've heard "Why'd the chicken cross the road?" about a thousand times lately. We also hear non-sensical jokes that Reed makes up. One day in the car he said "Why does red mean go and green mean stop?" purposely mixing them up. I asked why and he said "Because there's no God". Tod and I didn't quite know how to respond but Reed quickly said "Why aren't you laughing?"....well I still don't know what do think about that one!

December 2007

• 12/3/07 – Amy wore big girl underwear ALL DAY LONG!!! So proud of you!


• 12/7/07 – Lately I've been telling Amy "You're my best girl". After a week or so of that, she started responding with "You're my best girl too". So sweet!!!


• 12/25/07 – Amy got a big girl bike for Christmas, just like she wanted! She had said she wanted Santa to bring her a big girl bike "and take away the baby bikes". It's a 12" bike with training wheels and we've been just amazed at how coordinated she's been with it, navigating corners and wheeling around all over!

Thoughtful Amy

As I was putting Amy to bed tonight, she said "I want to write on top of the note for Santa next year, 'I love the people and my dollhouse'". What a thoughtful girl she is.

Goodbye to my wonderful friend CJ

I am overwhelmed with so many feelings, and such strong feelings, that I wanted to take some time to write about CJ.

CJ was given to me a couple of days before Christmas in 1992. I was 21 years old and we lived in an apartment in Leesburg. My first husband had gone on a hunting trip to Morgantown, West Virginia, and brought CJ home to me. The people who had him had been calling him “Cool Joe” (I guess it was a Snoopy reference, but I don’t know for sure). I couldn't come up with a name for him, and Jennifer suggested that we just shorten it to CJ. Easy. I never knew his exact birth date, but guess he was about 6 weeks old when he came to me.

He was such an adorable, if initially flea-ridden, little puppy. When we rode in the truck when he was really small, he would like to sit on the back of my neck – guess it was a good vantage point. I remember that he was short enough to walk underneath the coffee table, but then he grew and one day...BONK....he hit his head on the table as he tried to go under it. I remember we kept him in the galley-style kitchen of our apartment at night before he was house-trained, and oh would he cry! And they always say a dog won’t pee where he sleeps....well, not so much with baby CJ. Oh well!

Right from when he was small, CJ loved to play with his toys. He got stuffed animal after stuffed animal....enjoying some for a long time, tearing others up immediately. One of my favorite things I remember him playing with at some point was a penny....somehow he found one, carried it onto the bed, and then he’d jump so that his feet would be just behind the penny, and it would jump up in the air, then he’d catch it. Crazy! I didn’t let him do that a lot, though, because I was afraid he would choke on it.

In September 1993, it was down to just CJ and me living in the apartment. CJ was such a tremendous comfort to me as I went through the breakup of my first marriage; I can’t imagine how I would have made it without him. Coming home to him each day after driving to work in Fairfax, and all the way back to Leesburg – well not only was it a relief to not come home to an empty house, but also to come home to someone who was so happy to see you. Back then CJ was welcome to get on the furniture, including sleeping on my bed. It would have been so lonely without him.

I remember when our area had a huge blizzard....I looked it up and find it began on January 8, 1996. It was wild, with about 3 feet of snow and a few different storms that came through over a two-week period. We were basically snowed in, CJ and me. It was wonderful, I watched TV and relaxed and enjoyed having CJ for my only company. I think I walked over to the nearby Wal*Mart once to get a couple of things, but basically I was home for about two weeks straight. Ah, that really was a good time!
Jennifer came to live with us briefly, probably from late summer 1996 through either the fall of that year, or early in 1997, I can’t remember for sure. By that time, my marriage was completely over and I wasn’t able to afford the apartment on my own. Then I was fortunate enough that my folks allowed me to move back in with them, CJ in tow.

I’m sure that CJ was probably glad to move in with Mom and Jim (and their dog Corky too). I was gone for a pretty long time during the day, so it was good that they were able to be home with him more. Being there also freed me up to begin to develop a social life since I knew CJ was in good hands and I could be away from home a bit more. Somewhere around this time is when I started playing softball on a co-ed team.

Through all this time, CJ continued to love playing with his toys...and it was probably a good thing that Corky was never much into toys, because she would have had a fight on her hands. His favorite things were a stuffed carrot and a stuffed duck – I have no idea why, but he always liked those, and once he’d tear one apart, I’d go and get him a replacement. CJ also always loved to go for walks, which we always did frequently. He especially liked to go places like Great Falls where he could run free and explore

In the fall of 1998, life certainly took a turn for the better for me and CJ too, since that’s when I started dating Tod. Tod was always welcoming to CJ, and when I eventually started staying over at his house, CJ would come with me.

In February 2000, CJ and I moved in with Tod. I think CJ really enjoyed his new home once he got settled in, and was glad to have Tod there. My office was literally across the street from the apartment, so sometimes I was even able to come home for lunch and be there with CJ. We would take long walks around the area – things were just really starting to be developed in that area, and the land that now holds the Fairfax Corner shopping center was our walking spot.

We took a big step and bought our townhouse in South Riding in early 2001. The three-level townhouse meant a lot of steps for CJ but he didn’t seem to mind. Just like in Fairfax, there was lots of development going on near our townhouse, and we did lots and lots of walking. Tod sometimes called our outings “death marches,” since once in a while we’d go 2 or 3 miles. Not long before our wedding in December 2001, CJ had a seizure. Thankfully, we were there when it happened. We immediately took him to the vet, but if they ever came up with a cause for the seizure, I don’t remember it. It was really frightening when it happened, though.

In November 2002 – November 12, to be exact – CJ’s whole world changed. For the first 10 years of his life, he was my baby, and now here comes little Reed into our family. When we first brought Reed home, CJ was thrown into a tizzy. Each night when Reed would get up multiple times, CJ would trudge downstairs right alongside us, and then stumble back upstairs when it was time to put Reed back to bed again. I’d say CJ was probably just as tired as we were in those first blurry months of Reed’s life! At the time, Tod was deployed to the National Guard, working in Fort Belvoir. We were fortunate that he was able to be home with us for basically the first 6 or 7 weeks of Reed’s life, between the various holidays and the many snow days we happened to have. I know CJ liked having us home for so long. Eventually we all got adjusted to our new way of life. While Reed was small, we were able to continue taking our nightly walks after dinner, which certainly was nice. I can’t imagine how many miles that old green stroller logged as we went all over the neighborhood.

Somewhere around when Reed was six months old, we decided we needed to get some help with CJ’s behavior, since he barked too much and would jump on guests and pull on the leash when we walked him. We used a company called BarkBusters, and CJ took to it immediately. He was like a new dog – he stopped jumping up, he walked properly (with some reminders), and though he still barked a bit too much, it was a great improvement. The training was all about relieving CJ of the job of leader of our “pack” – the trainer did a great job of explaining it to us, and while we stuck with the training for a while, we probably didn't do as well as we might have. Life was a bit easier, though, with our newly behaving dog. So much for that old saying that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

While we were on Ashbury Drive, we continued our frequent walks and CJ got plenty of exercise, and probably slightly less attention than he’d been used to.

At the end of December 2004, we moved to our house on Talamore Drive. In hindsight, I think about this time is when CJ’s mental decline really began, though it was so gradual and we were so close to the situation, we really couldn’t see it. Thinking back, I can’t even recall him playing with his toys in the four years he lived in this house, save for a few random times when he would completely surprise us by getting a toy out and throwing it around.

Our house has a fenced-in back yard, so we were able to just let CJ roam around back there anytime he wanted, rather than having to put him on a leash to take him for short walks when he had to potty. I’m sad to say that we really didn’t walk him like we should have, and for that I’m truly sorry.

Amy wanted so much to be CJ’s pal, and to be able to love on him, but he didn’t want any part of it. I guess since he was never around children during his younger years, he just wasn’t able to develop a tolerance for them and their wild ways. It really makes me sad that the kids couldn't have the fun kind of relationship they wanted to have with him – it would have been so lovely. As it was, we had to watch Amy really closely around CJ, and he nipped her lots of times, unfortunately. But at the very end, she could even hug him a bit, and I don’t think it was because he’d finally decided he liked her, I think he just wasn’t well enough to remember he didn’t like the hugs and kisses. Fortunately, she didn’t know the reason, she just knew she could give him hugs on his final day. She lovingly sat next to him and stroked his fur, saying “it’s okay, little one”.

Back when CJ was younger, he’d been allowed to be up on the bed to sleep with us. In his last years, he spent most nights sleeping in Reed’s room. I don’t really know why he chose that spot, but it made me so happy that he did. During his last months, I’m not sure he had any regular night-time sleeping spot. I think at times he wandered around at night, not really sure of himself.

I can’t say for sure when it was CJ’s physical health started declining. He slept a lot, and slept a lot more soundly – maybe it was an age thing, or maybe it was because his hearing was gone so he was disturbed less frequently, I don’t know. It became really difficult, knowing that his time with us was closer to its end than to its beginning – each time we returned home, it was such a relief when he would come to greet us. And there were times during the night when the kids would get up, and I’d always check on him while I was up – more than once I was sure he’d passed, but then he’d poke his head up and probably wonder why I was pestering him.

Toward the very end, I really don’t know how aware CJ was of anything anymore. He would be glad when we got home, but not in the same way that he used to, not the kind of true happiness as before. It was as if the heart of him had gone away. This is the kind of thing you don’t want to see in your pet, and I think it was something we chose not to see until it was pointed out to us that CJ had neurological problems – these made him unsteady on his feet, and gave him particular problems with the stairs. With that knowledge, the pieces of the puzzle become clear, but in our love we were blind to them.

CJ had several accidents in the house over a couple of week period that started on December 5. We put him on a special diet (chicken and rice) thinking it was a stomach bug. That cleared up, but then it returned again quickly and we put him back on the special diet. When he poo’d in the kitchen right as we were all sitting eating dinner on December 21, we had to face the possibility that it wasn’t a tummy trouble, but instead was an incontinence issue.

I took him to the vet on Tuesday, December 23. We were fortunate that Dr. Werder, the same doctor who’d seen him back in July, was the vet that we saw. The tech took CJ to be weighed and have his temperature checked, and he was gone a while. He popped back in to say Dr. Werder wanted to take CJ outside to see how he walked. They were gone a bit after that again. I knew enough to realize they wouldn’t be returning with good news. Dr. Werder said CJ was much worse off than when she saw him in July. She explained the signs of neurological problems that she saw – she said his gait was very tentative, he seemed not to know where his left front paw was going to land, he would stand and hold his head just slightly to one side, and he was very wobbly if he stood still. Of course we already knew he was having periodic problems with not being able to hold his BMs; he had cataracts and couldn’t see much at all; he’d definitely lost all his hearing; he had arthritis; he had a heart murmur which had gotten worse in the last year. Even as she and I talked, CJ was facing away from us, with his head in a corner. It was another sign that his mind was no longer sharp at all. Dr. Werder explained that it was time to let CJ go. I was so grateful for her compassionate care, and it didn’t escape me that she had tears in her eyes a couple of times as we talked. Her recommendation was to take him home, love him, and bring him back when we were ready to say goodbye.

So that’s what we did. That was two days before Christmas, and we didn’t want to tell the kids until after Christmas was done. Tod and I did our best to give CJ extra love in those days, but really, he didn’t want it. Where before he soaked up every moment of attention you gave him, now he would walk away even as you were still petting him. That was difficult to bear, but it helped us to know we were doing the right thing (if there is such a thing). We tried to take him for a short walk the day before Christmas, but he really didn’t know what was going on – the vet had told us to resume giving him painkillers, which had a sedative effect, but beyond what I can blame on those, he didn’t enjoy the walk like he used to.

The day after Christmas, we sat the kids down and with tears in our eyes we broke the news to them. It didn’t register for them right away, but when it did they were so sad. It was so hard to give them that news. Later in the day, Kiki and Poppy came over to watch the kids. Amy gave CJ goodbye hugs, Reed gave him a quick pat. After so many years of happy and excited car rides, it was dreadfully sad to put CJ in the car for this final ride. I hate so much that we had to do this to him. I’m not going to go into great detail about the procedure itself, other than to say that he was given a powerful tranquilizer to calm him, and then he laid down and drifted off to sleep. He was even snoring just before the technician put the IV in and Dr. Werder administered the medication. It happened so quickly, he was gone before she’d even finished the dose. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, bringing him to that place and making that choice. I hope that he knew we were there, and that we loved him.

It’s still not totally sunken in that CJ is really gone. There are so many little things we did each day without thinking about them, to make his life a little easier as he’d aged. For instance, he was having so much trouble with the main stairs in our house, because the landing is a hardwood floor, so I moved one of our kitchen floor mats to the bottom of the stairs, about a foot away from the stairs, to serve as his “landing pad”. I can’t bring myself to move it back to the kitchen. Not yet. I also had gotten into the habit of always closing the basement door when I went down there to do laundry or whatever, because I wanted to minimize the number of times that old man climbed up and down the stairs. I’m still finding myself closing the door behind me, even though there’s no need to now. Letting him out just before going to bed was such an ingrained habit, it feels really strange to just decide to go to bed, and be able to immediately go upstairs. I miss him so much.

Now his bowls, his collar and leash, his favorite carrot and duck....they’re in a storage bin, ready to go to the basement. It was terribly sad to clean them up and box them away.

It’s all so surreal. One day CJ was here and the next day gone. It’s been so sad. If I put it in perspective, though, I can think about the countless hours of joy and comfort he gave us over his life. This time of mourning his loss pales in comparison to the times that he made our lives so much more rich, full, and happy.

CJ, we loved you so much, and miss you terribly.

The little librarian

Other news to be posted sometime soon, but meanwhile I wanted to share this.

For Christmas, Nikki and Cristie (and company) gave Reed a custom-made stamper. At first I think he was a little concerned because he took the words of the stamp quite literally – he thought he'd have to loan out all of his books and he wouldn't have them anymore. But then he embraced the idea. He was pretty excited about it, and spent probably a couple of hours over two days this week stamping each of his many and varied books.

Then he decided it'd be great to sort them all out into categories.

Once that job was done, he asked Tod to make up dividers for the sections and set about making labels for the shelves – he developed his own set of categories, including historical, school, friends, science, educational, fiction, math, poems, lullabies, fish, and birds (I probably missed a couple). Then his work was done. He has elaborate ideas for when his library will be open (daily except Saturdays, with time for a lunch break for him, and closing shop once it was dark).

Here's the proud librarian and his finished product:

And here's what Grandma Larson (a school librarian herself) had to say about it all:

My God!!! shades of his old Grandma when they delivered the books to "the village shoppe and library". That is amazing. Truly amazing that he knows that he likes to do this so well. He has a passion and he worked on it. If he can accomplish this when he is six what will he have done by the time he is 76? or 16? or 36? Any how as you can see I am excited. Also...what an intuitive gift for Nikki to give him. For her to be so in tune to him that she knew that he would or even could possibly love this give is wonderful. Also, it took his loving parents to be able to help him and guide him. Wow!!!! Be sure to keep these pictures and notes with his information because it may give you a peek into his character later on.

Give that Reed a cuddly love for me because my heart is really warmed by this. Love, Mom