A loss

Our visit to MT in July

It's been a couple of weeks now but the shock hasn't lessened much. Tod's mother Eileen Holt Larson passed away on November 11 at age 76. I think we can never be prepared to live in a world without our mother. I can only imagine Tod's pain. Knowing that our children are also missing out on knowing her well makes it more difficult. Who better to appreciate your strengths and offer you a comforting shoulder than your grandmother? The more I think about it, the more I see pieces of Eileen in Amy – her love of singing and music and being together with people. Eileen saw so many strengths in Reed, and all that he is capable of. It's such a loss that the three of them won't get to share that.

I remember the first time I met Keith and Eileen. It was probably 1998 or so and I'd come to watch my then-boyfriend Chris play softball; Tod played on the same team and his folks were in town and came to see him play. Despite the fact that I had a boyfriend already, I knew from the first time I saw Tod (also on a softball field) that he would be someone special in my life. Meeting his parents at that game showed me what a kind, special family he came from too. I am lucky to be part of it.

All the kids and Keith were able to be with her when she passed. I know she knew they were there, even if she couldn't say it. As others said, now she is finally breathing easy and not having her health hold her back. She's free from the many illnesses she suffered.

I don't think things will ever be the same without Eileen. She was the glue that held the family together and now it will be up to the rest of the family to take up the pieces and put them back together again and keep up those connections. It won't be easy. But she'll be proud of them for doing it, and she'll be watching.