What we're worried about: College edition

It's tough sending your kid off to college. We've spent nearly 19 years (well, if you want to get technical and count while he was in utero, I have spent more than 19 years) knowing where your kid is all the time, hearing about their day, and generally how they're doing. Then you're just supposed to....stop? It is really a lot to ask.

We dropped Reed off last Saturday. We've had a handful of text message exchanges with him, which is great, but we haven't spoken in a week now. While he's given us brief comments about some of the activities and his classes, we have no clue how he's doing. How is the roommate situation going? Is he getting enough to eat, and using his meal plan wisely? Has he met any new friends? Who's he going to meals with?

When Tod and I talked about our worries, he correctly pointed out that we're each worried most about the thing that was hardest for us in college. Tod is worried that Reed will be too homesick. I'm worried that he won't make friends and get involved. 

I can only imagine what a culture shock it was for Tod when his parents put him on a plane to West Point (and he walked away from his parent to get on the plane, and didn't even look back at them, as his Mom always reminded him). He'd never even visited the school. And the Hudson Valley of New York couldn't be more different than southeastern Montana. He wrote lots of letters home (we have some in the basement, we gotta read through those things!). But ultimately he adjusted and made lifelong friends. No clue if Reed's feeling homesick...hopefully we will get to talk with him soon and try to gauge his mood.

My college experience was considerably shorter than Tod's, of course. Radford was overcrowded at the time, so they put me in a room with two other girls, though it wasn't built for that. And the two girls were best friends. Did I mention that they both also had been high school cheerleaders, and probably among the most popular at their high school in Woodbridge? Good times. They were nice enough to me, but the situation definitely made me a third wheel. I had also started dating the guy who would become my first husband (shocking, I know...I think the kids keep forgetting this fact about me) the summer before college, so my mind was also on home. I have been trying to remember details about my one semester of college, but I can't remember much at all, not even how drop off went! I am not sure I ever ate a meal in the cafeteria with anyone else, I only remember eating alone. And I definitely didn't talk to people in my classes. I did college all wrong. No wonder it didn't work out for me (well, it worked out in the end, but not at the time!). So my biggest fear is that Reed will stay in his room talking to his old friends over video games and never meeting new people at JMU or getting involved in any activities. 

It's entirely possible that neither of these things will be problems for Reed, and he'll have some other issue altogether. Or maybe he'll have no issues! We are just hoping he will be safe and happy, and get the most out of his time in college. I know this is all the natural order of things, but that doesn't make it any easier!

And then there was one...

Down to just one kid for the first day of school – how strange! And this year, even more strange since the last time Amy attended class in person was in March of 2019. 

In another first for us, Amy drove herself to school. She picked up her friend Annika (right now she's only allowed to drive one person, since she's a new driver) and got to school early to hang out in the Black Box (otherwise known as the theatre classroom) "just like real theatre kids!". 

We did our usual "night before school starts name and grade pancakes," of course!

And even though Reed wasn't home, we still made pancakes for him too. 

I hope it will be a great year, and I hope covid doesn't screw it all up again.

Off to college

I suppose you could argue the whole point of being a parent is to care for your children and teach them, so they can launch into the world successfully. Who thought that was a good idea?!  

We spent the last couple of months working through the processes required by James Madison University, and doing other prep work to gather all the stuff Reed would need at school. We tried to let him do all the work without reminders, but I had a hard time stopping with the reminders – a years' long habit can't stop that easily. Reed wasn't too interested in the "stuff" he'd need for school. He worked with me to choose a small bit of stuff, but then was happy to just let me gather the rest of the things I thought he needed. It will be interesting to see what stuff returns home at the end of the school year, unopened or unused. Some things he didn't want to take, but I packed them anyway – like a deck of cards, Skip-Bo and Uno, as well as Cards Against Humanity. He wanted to take as few clothes as possible....I mostly let him do that, since he'll be the one to deal with the consequences of only having seven pairs of socks. Laundry's gonna have to happen like clockwork, or there will be some stinky feet. LOL

We dropped Reed off at JMU this past Saturday. Most of his friends had already left for school, and I think he was ready to go. He's always quiet so I can't be totally sure he wasn't anxious, but he seemed okay with it all. He had a randomly assigned roommate, who'd already moved in and was there to greet us and then leave us to unload and set up. He didn't bring a ton of stuff, so it didn't take too long. 

Then we realized we needed a crate or something to store his snacks in, plus I'd bought conditioner not shampoo, so he let us do the Target run to pick those things up. While we were gone, Reed got a head start on getting the lay of the land and orienting himself to the campus. His dorm building, Shorts Hall, is....not great. It was built in 1968 and somehow hasn't been upgraded since then, it's kind of astonishing. And there's no air conditioning. I think it's the kind of thing that will build character and will allow the kids there to have a "back in my day" kind of story – so there is some upside to it! Honestly once these few weeks of hot weather are done, I don't think the kids will have any issues with the dorm. Well, scratch that...the dorm is across the road from the football stadium, where the band practices daily. Eventually I guess that will become background noise that they don't even notice. And it will be super easy to go to the football games!

Reed was ready for us to get out of his hair once we dropped off our Target purchases, so we took one last family picture before we headed out.

Man, was it hard to drive away from there, especially for Tod, coming so close after losing his Dad. So much change for our family in such a short amount of time (and that's not even including the fact that Shelby spent two nights in the doggie hospital while Tod was in South Dakota for his Dad's funeral – we were really scared about that, but she is fine now). 

Did we prepare him well enough? Will he make good friends? Remember to go to class? I guess time will tell. I think he was ready and he will do great. I can't wait to hear all about it, and counting down the days until we see him again at Family Weekend in early October. 

Tonight as I finished making dinner, I reached into the cabinet to get dinner plates out. I realized now I only need three plates. Boy is this hard. With the pandemic going on for so long, I have spent literally almost every single day for the last year and a half with Reed – more time than we've spent together since he was born. It has been a privilege to get that extra time with him (though it would have been very much preferable to have had the kids in school and doing normal stuff all this time). We are really missing him already, it's so strange to not have him here!

It seems like not that long ago that we were sending this little boy off to Kindergarten. 💜💛💜💛

Farewell Grandpa Larson

We are all so sad to have lost Tod's Dad on August 10, 2021. While it wasn't completely unexpected, it wasn't really expected either – his health had gone downhill, and he'd also had several falls over the last several months. He wasn't really able to do the things he loved to do anymore, but he still got joy from talking with family on the phone, in person visits when they could, and from having coffee at McDonald's with his friends most days. Tod called him pretty much every Sunday morning for all the years I've known him, keeping Keith updated on his life, hearing what was going on in Keith's world. Keith didn't really understand the work Tod does – could it possibly be any more different than the work of Keith's life? – and the top secret nature of the job didn't help. But he always tried to understand, and he certainly always wanted to hear what the kids were up to.

Tod and Amy went to South Dakota just about six weeks prior to Keith's passing, to attend the funeral of Keith's brother Pete's wife Nubby. It is a blessing that all four surviving kids were able to see him on that trip.

I feel fortunate to have had Keith in my life since 1999, or it might have been 1998. I remember meeting he and Eileen at a softball game. Tod was on a team with the guy I was dating at the time. Keith and Eileen had come to visit Tod, and were there in the stands to cheer him on. Tod later told me his Dad had said something to him along the lines of "that girl at the game seemed nice, why don't you date her?" Thank goodness he eventually did.

Reading his obituary, and hearing his friends and family tell stories about him, I learned a lot more about Keith and what an interesting and varied life he led. He was retired when I met him, but still active in various organizations. In fact, as his children attended his funeral service, they were in a church he helped to come to fruition – and they could even look to their right out the church windows and see the family's final home in Ekalaka. Living in a small town, there were plenty of opportunities to serve the community, and both he and Eileen sure did so.

Keith imparted a strong work ethic in his children, and a love and dedication to family. He was a story teller – you might say a bullshitter – and loved to talk to pretty much anyone. Including Keith and Kent's "birth story" in the funeral program was a wonderful touch - that particular story will live in infamy. I've heard Tod tell it too, and even when he tells it, some folks swallow it hook, line and sinker! 

We will miss Keith so much.