Every year since my Mom died, the back to school time of year has been so melancholy for me. The late start this year puts it closer to the change of seasons too, which adds to the feeling. Partly it's thinking about all our kids have missed out on by not having her in our lives these past 10 years. How she would have loved to see our kids in high school, becoming their own people! They would have been so good for each other.
This isn't a new feeling, but when the days stop being so miserably hot and humid, and we have gorgeous early fall days like we're having this Labor Day weekend, the passage of time is just so clear. Soon the leaves will start falling, then the trees will be bare and the air will be cold. We'll be into a new year....the one where our baby boy graduates high school and maybe goes off to college. Sure, it's the way things are supposed to go, but that doesn't make it any easier.
From listening to other parents, they all felt this way at this time. But then the world conspires to make both the kid and the parents really eager for the separation, as if by design. I remember Aly driving Jennifer so crazy that she couldn't wait for college drop-off, where the previous year it'd been unimaginably hard to even think about. So I know it will all be okay, and we'll all grow and change with the seasons.
For now I will just enjoy every day.
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