It's a multi-step process...

Like so many of us, our kids have trouble letting go of "stuff" once its outlived its usefulness. It's more pronounced for Amy, just because she has more stuff. She had another purge recently, of this stack of books - she wasn't ready to get rid of them, just didn't want them on her bookshelf anymore. So I bought her another underbed storage box (her third) to store them until she's ready to really let them go. We've also got another bin of her books in our office closet, awaiting their fate. (That bin has the Rainbow Fairy books that she loved so very much, but for a parent were soooo tedious to read [the two friends in the books didn't go to the same school but they were seemingly always on some kind of break so they could be together, and the stories themselves were pretty much the exact same in every single book [and there are dozens of them]. But boy, did she love those books!)

In the basement we've got a big container of stuffed animals that are in this same holding phase. I guess one day we'll get back to it and maybe then we'll cull the herd one more time and see how it goes.

If that's how it's gotta be

Amy asked for an Instagram account. Then she changed her mind. Then she changed her mind again a few weeks later. So she's now officially on social media of at least one type. She said she only wanted it so she can share her own art and comment on other people's art.

So this means that the only way we get to see the things Amy draws is to wait until she posts it for the world to see. I guess that's better than not getting to see it at all, which was the way it's been for quite a while now.

*Sniff* don't say that! *sniff*

A couple of weeks ago we were on our way home from the corn maze and passed by the spot where we've been waiting and waiting (and waiting) for a movie theater to be built in our neighborhood. He asked what the status was and we said it's super slow going and would probably be a couple of years at best before it opens. Reed said "With my luck, the theater won't be built until after I'm gone."

Guess things are getting closer to real, huh? Less than three years and Reed may be off at college, on his own.

Not even close to ready for that at this point. Others have said by the time their kids are ready to head off to college, they're really ready to see them go because they've become giant pains. I guess time will tell if that applies to us. Right now I'm just going to appreciate and enjoy our last few years having him at home.

Sixteen!

Today's the big day – Reed is 16!

Reed is a good kid with a kind heart. He still doesn't love school, but he does what he needs to do and gets mostly A's on his report cards without a ton of effort – he's like his Dad in that way. I didn't try much in high school and was a slightly above average student. He's got a great group of pals that he does online gaming with and hangs out in person with from time to time. He's really good with the little kids in our family and they just love him. He has a great sense of humor and makes us laugh all the time. He drives his sister batty, he is so skilled at pressing her buttons, it's crazy-making. He has gotten so much better about doing the chores he's assigned and thank goodness hasn't fought with us over them in a long time. He may grumble about it (especially on those back-to-back odd days that are his dishes day, or when it turns out that he's got to unload the dishwasher two times in a row) but he does it, and also does a pretty good job. 

He still won't get a haircut, which is totally fine by me. However his failure to comb his hair regularly led to me spending an hour plus a couple months ago un-ratting his hair which had become impossibly matted (NOT going to do that again, I've made that clear). I think he likes being a little different, having long hair, and long curly hair at that. He still doesn't care much about being "fashionable" and just sticks with blue jeans and comfy shirts – has no interest in brand names or what's "cool." Sometimes he doesn't match at all but he doesn't care. 

During the summer he made dinner for us pretty regularly (he was bored!) but now that's school's back in, not as much. I'm always grateful when he helps (in turn, we do the dishes if he's made dinner). He isn't much interested in getting his driver's license – he hasn't practiced in more than a month. When you prefer staying home, having a way to get out isn't top priority. Hopefully we can get back on track pretty soon so he can get his license when he's eligible in a few months.

Happiest surprise of all – he wanted books for his birthday! A big, boxed set of Stephen King Dark Tower books, to be specific. It's been years since he actually asked for any books so this made me incredibly happy.

Last month he decided, without asking, to host a big sleepover. Kinda told us about it after he'd already invited 8 people. He said he'd looked at our family schedule wall calendar and there was nothing on it so he figured it was okay. (I cleared that up for him...you gotta ask first next time!) Turns out six friends could make it (Robbie was there but didn't make it in this picture) and they had a great time, eating pizza and ice cream, staying up way too late....breaking our TV (oops). In the morning we had a big waffle breakfast too.

His annual birthday movie outing is this weekend – for the first time, I'll be the one taking him and five friends to see "Bohemian Rhapsody" at the Alamo Drafthouse (Tod will be out of town for school). Ought to be interesting!

Happy 16th, baby boy!

Goodbye, Pepperidge Place....

So it finally happened, after what I think a literally years-long process...Jim sold 105 Pepperidge Place. He will be living in Daytona Beach until sometime next summer when his Reston condo renter is out, then he'll go back and forth throughout the year.

Mom and Jim met when we lived at 602 South Concord Court and Jim lived across the street. They married in June 1981 and we moved to Pepperidge Place, which was a two or three year old house at the time. Gravel driveway, unfinished basement (that it STILL has). We had many good family times in that house. We had a lot of loud music in that house -- some from behind closed bedroom doors (Billy Squier and Tom Petty for Jennifer, Triumph and Def Leppard for me), some from downstairs (Travis Tritt, Patty Loveless for Mom). One time, my friend Tracey Bowers and I walked way down Crestview Drive to the 7-11 (it was a busy road - so dumb!) to use her fake ID to buy a single 4-pack of Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers, walk all the way back to my house, drink them in secret and stash the bottles in my closet until I could get rid of them. We had our dog Buffy, then we had Corky. We always knew that Mom 'hid' the Christmas presents in her closet, and I know I peeked more than once. Somehow Jennifer had to mow the grass as a teenager, but I never had to (what's up with that?). Jennifer went off to college, I made a brief stop at college myself, then an ill-advised marriage. Jennifer got married too, and we both got divorces (at different times) and were welcomed back home again with open arms - my dog C.J. too. We watched our Mom become the amazing grandmother we always knew she would be, and Jim grow into his grandfather role too. Aly logged a ton of time there in the first several years of her life, and had so many special moments with Mom during sleepovers. She had to nearly be dragged out when it was time to go. We had many cookie days where we made way too many treats. It was a warm, comfortable home, and Mom loved it.

For me, and I know for Wanda too, the house became a sad reminder of my Mom after she died there. I think it was what she wanted, to live her last days in her own home (though honestly, we unfortunately never had those important conversations), but it was so hard for everyone. Because of that, letting go of the house was maybe a little bit of a relief, and less sad than it otherwise would have been.

Amy was only 5 when Mom died, and Mom had really been 'gone' for the last six months of her life. But still, saying goodbye to the house made Amy a bit sad. She remembers the few sleepovers they had with Mom, but mostly she remembered that whenever we left from a visit, Mom always stood outside to wave goodbye, not going back into the house until we were out of sight. I'm so glad that Amy has that memory.

We got together one last time to raise a glass to our home after 27 years. Here's to bigger and better things for Jim.

We ought to just buy a cow

These are definitely Larson children when it comes to drinking milk. We go through at least three, frequently four, gallons of milk every week. It's crazy. A lot of it is from multiple bowls of cereal each morning, but boy do these kids like to also drink milk. Not me, not my thing at all and it totally grosses me out. Tod grew up drinking a big glass of milk with meals, but I'm not sure what in the world we drank growing up!

Maybe if we got a cow, it could keep the yard down and also keep me from going to the grocery store for milk mid-week to stock back up! :)

Back to school!

Summer went by quickly! We had our traditional night before school starts breakfast for dinner with grade pancakes (we forgot to make name pancakes this year - oops!). Aly even joined us, and we decided she's in 14th grade and Tod is in 20th. 

And here they are on their way to school! Hope they both have great years!

A milestone

On Friday night after Amy's play "High School Musical, Jr.," we stopped off for a celebratory milkshake. There was a moment where Amy said something to Reed – I don't even know what – and they both laughed. I swear it truly was their first ever inside joke.

Maybe one day they really will be pals? I hope!

Can't believe I forgot this!!

I'm sorry, but how did it happen that we have a kid old enough to get his learner's permit?!? We blinked and there he is. Reed actually wasn't really interested in getting his permit, since he's a homebody...Tod resorted to bribing him with $50. (For the record, I wasn't really consulted on this plan.) He was also worried that if he had his license, I'd be sending him to the grocery store every 10 minutes. While I hope that eventually he'll see that driving is fun and it's nice to get out of the house and do something helpful to your family, for now I've told him that once he gets his real license, if I need a quick item from the store, it will be totally optional for him to go get it (barring unusual circumstances like illness, which I've already stipulated). He drives a hard bargain.

He took the test and passed it...Tod's been taking him out to practice in the parking lots between Lunsford and Cardinal Ridge Elementary, working toward the required 45 hours of practice needed to get your actual driver's license. I am not sure I have the temperament to teach him, I think I'd be a nervous wreck and would make him more nervous. I may not ever even ride with him until he's 30. LOL

I guess we'll see about signing him up for behind the wheel training, and then he'll take the classroom part of Driver's Ed in school in the fall, hopefully. 

Buh-bye, BDM!

Thanks for the miles, BDM!

We bought our navy blue 2010 Honda Odyssey minivan (known in my head as the Big Dumb Minivan) in late August 2009, when Amy was 4 and Reed was almost 6. It was fairly good to us over the next nearly 9 years and 113K miles, and certainly rode us around in comfort with lots of space, but lately its issues with burning off oil had become untenable so this week we made a switch. We bought a silver Hyundai Santa Fe (cue the "Santa Fe" song from Newsies, which Amy has recently been obsessed with [the play, not just the song, that is]) that's a bit smaller than the minivan was, which comes with a lot of the electronic bells and whistles that we never had before.

It was a little like saying goodbye to an old friend to sell the Odyssey. Amy was a bit emotional over it too. She came out to sit in it one last time before we sold it, and lingered a long time. I'd turned it on to make sure there were no more CDs in it and Bon Jovi's "Never Say Goodbye" was on the radio. I didn't even notice, but she said "Well this is a fitting song." Indeed.

For me, I guess mostly it just that the van safely carried our family so many places over nine years, it's sort of like part of the family. But also I had a little extra sadness that my Mom rode in the van at least once, maybe more...so that's just one more connection between us that's lost forever. A little silly, I know. But it still made me sad. I hope the van gets fixed up and carries around another happy family for years to come.

I hope we'll get lots of good years from the Santa Fe...facing its first real test this week with a 5-day vacation to Wrightsville Beach in North Carolina for a big family vacation. Here's hoping we are able to fit all of our junk in it!

Be good to us, Santa Fe!

Silly traditions of teen boys

I'm not certain but I think this tradition was started with Reed's pal Harrison Hill, who gave him a birthday card meant for a 7 year old when he was maybe 12 or 13. Since then Reed has sometimes chosen "kids" age cards for his friends, or cards that just don't otherwise "fit" -- like this card he bought for Robbie's birthday last month...it's in Chinese.

Love his sense of humor.

First official volunteer job

Reed's spent a bit of time volunteering at the food pantry with Tod, but this summer after not finding a job that worked out, he has been volunteering at the Gum Spring Library with the summer reading program.

He's been super responsible about it. He did a test-run bike ride to the library to see how long it'd take, so he knew he should leave at 9:20 to get there in time to start working at 10, and each time he did it all on his own. Baby steps toward being a responsible grown up!

Next up...hopefully getting a job at Cox Farms for the fall festival!

School's out for summer!

We made it through another school year! Both kids had great grades – Amy had straight A's, including A+ in both English and US History 1865-Present (she missed literally ONE question in the whole year!). Reed had all A's except one B+ in Algebra II/Trigonometry.

Reed didn't participate in a lot of extracurriculars, but he kept his head down and earned great grades, and kept up with his longtime friends. He still won't even get his hair trimmed, which is fascinating. (I like his long hair but still think it would benefit from a trim, but he won't budge on that and it's not worth fighting over – hey, we're saving money on hair cuts!)

Amy had such a great time in the drama production and trudged through a tough year of Spanish with a teacher she just didn't match up well with, but still ended up with an A on the year in that class (which goes toward her high school credits). She had her school-day friends but not a lot of interaction outside of school, which I think is something she wants to work on in the future (over-the-phone interactions in middle school are tough!).

Really proud of our kids!

What the????

The other night at dinner, Amy was talking about a comic book series. She said "I can't even tell what the hel....HECK is going on!"

Total silence. We all looked at her. She turned bright red. It was quite a moment! It took a minute for us to recover enough for Tod to gently remind her that wasn't really appropriate language.

What the hell!?!?

Clothes and Reed

Well first off, it's so nice when it turns out your kid actually learns something from you. For all these years, I've been the one who swapped the kids' closets each season. The only part they had to play was to try on some of the previous season's items to make sure they fit. I got everything out, I went through it, I packed the out of season clothes away.

This year I mentioned to Reed that he needed to swap to summer clothes a few weeks ago, and asked if he wanted help. He said nope, he would take care of it. And he did! Okay so he just tossed the things that didn't fit onto the hallway floor, but still! He put the summer things in the dresser and loaded the winter things in the bin in his closet. A total win!!

Then he said he need a few new pairs of shorts and shirts and asked if we could go shopping. When I picked myself up off the floor, I said sure! So we headed out to Kohls, where he picked out some shorts and a t-shirt. Then he asked "Can I get this?" and pointed to a mint-colored button-up shirt with flamingos on it. Again, I picked myself up off the floor and said of course we could. He even picked a second button-up shirt with palm trees on it. For serious. Button up shirts! Voluntarily!

The wonders never cease!

Those were the days...

Remember these? Silly Bandz! They were one of Amy's favorite things in elementary school (exactly when, I can't recall) and she spent HOURS and HOURS making bracelets. She didn't really wear them, she just liked to make them. Consequently, when I was looking in the craft cabinet for something a few weeks ago, I came across a huge pile of these bracelets. I hated to throw them away...so I took this picture, and then put a couple of bracelets in our mementos box to save for posterity. Maybe they'll come back in style!

Shrek-tacular!

Amy was thrilled to be the co-stage manager for the middle school production of Shrek The Musical Jr. this year. They started way back in November, and the last couple of months leading up to the play included rehearsals 4-5 days a week, including some Saturdays and a teacher work day.

A lot of hard work was put in, and it definitely showed! They put on a great show, I was fortunate to be able to see it twice (I was volunteering during the other two shows). Everything went off without a hitch (well, Amy's remote control rat sometimes didn't cooperate!) and they even sold out two nights of the run.

It's been really great to see how much Amy loves being a part of the drama group and how dedicated and hard-working she can be. We're really proud of her!

Cast party with stage crew pals.

Out until what time?

About two weeks ago, Reed said he wanted to buy a movie ticket for the opening night of the new Avengers movie, to go with friends. It was all very loosey goosey. But we bought the ticket in the same row as his pals, for a 9:55 p.m. (!!!!!) showing on a Friday night. Eventually things all got squared away and we knew which parents had the joy of driving them to a movie that late, and then picking them up even later (it's a 2 hour, 40 minute movie!). Off they went. His first time ever going to the movies without a parent.

Guess he really is growing up. (For the record, I was sound asleep when he finally got home, but Tod was in and out of sleep, waiting for him. I guess we know who gets the parenting gold star this time [and it's not me!].)

March For Our Lives

Last month was the March For Our lives event, organized by the Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School kids who lost so many in a gun attack on Valentine's Day.

It was a family affair for us. Three-fourths of us wanted to go, so Tod decided that Reed should be part of the experience too. (Thank goodness he was a good sport about it.) It was SO crowded, but thankfully I knew that there was no need to push forward to get closer to the stage, we just needed to be near where we could see and hear one of the big video screens along the street. So we settled in and stood in place for hours, with the crowd filling in around us.

I thought Amy would be most excited to see Lin Manuel Miranda and Ben Platt, but nope, she was there to see Emma Gonzalez, the Parkland student who made the first big splash with her "We call BS" speech.

It remains to be seen if true reform will happen, but I'm glad we showed up to support these kids and common sense gun laws.

We're down there somewhere.

Amy's 13th!

Didn't we just bring this baby girl home from the hospital? How is she 13 already?!

We couldn't talk Amy into a "kid" birthday party this year, but we fulfilled her wish for a family celebration - we had a pancake breakfast, then went to look at model homes (a favorite pastime of ours) and then on to the movies (to see "Love, Simon") and mostly just had a relaxing day. She got lots of comic books and also got her "Fearlessness" necklace like her grandma Ginger and all the ladies in the family.

Amy continues to be someone who holds very strong opinions about things and isn't afraid to share them with you. The more she cares about the topic, the louder she talks. If you get her started on comic book stuff, she can go for days. She's found a "home" with the drama club and is really enjoying being co-stage manager for the school's production of "Shrek the Musical, Jr." She is friendly with everyone and seems to have a lot of pals at school, but doesn't see many folks outside of school hours - she's content to be at home drawing and watching whatever it is she watches on her phone. She cares deeply about social justice issues and inequality and I look for her to get more and more involved as she gets older. She's a good egg and it's really fun to watch her grow up.

(A little behind in posting...forgive me!)

From Amy's science teacher...

You have a wonderfully kind-hearted, intelligent daughter and I greatly enjoy having her in class.

Melodie Persons Barnette
7th Grade Life Science
J. Michael Lunsford Middle School

Oh yes, there's a list

I'd seen something on our high school's Facebook parents page about some kind of new electronic cigarette with the warning "oh your kids definitely know about this." So I did my duty and asked Reed. He'd heard of this new 'juulz' thing but that was it. He asked why I was asking and I said "Well it's on the list of things parents are supposed to be worried about, so I figured I should ask." His response, "There's a list of things parents need to be worried about?" My answer....oh yes, there's a list...I didn't add that it is incredibly long and hard to deal with!

(This is especially true since this week there was yet another school shooting, with 17 people tragically killed. Worrying about your kids getting shot at school was definitely not something our parents had to deal with...or any parents at any time. Or any parents in any other countries.)

Reed and public speaking

As I've written before, Reed has a little bit of anxiety talking in front of the class at school - mostly around the Socratic Seminar when it's really unstructured.

On Wednesday morning, he got up early and said he didn't want to go to school. He had to do an oral book report. He reluctantly faced his fate and I worried about him – one day perhaps he'll have a kid and he'll understand how much a Mom wishes she could take away any difficult thing her child has to go through.

Since he has a new teacher in this class (the regular teacher went on maternity leave, we'd been working with the long-term sub, but now he's got a permanent replacement teacher). We hadn't interacted with her at all, though. I panicked a little bit and just sent her a quick heads up email to just say that Reed had struggled a bit with this kind of thing, so she'd be aware. She was really great and said she'd keep an eye on him and do her best to make him comfortable.

Then a little later, I got this email....

And he did an outstanding job on his speech! The class laughed at his explanation of his map-stealer grabbing the maps from Harvard and Yale. His was one of the better ones. I could tell he was nervous, but he fought through was very successful! I was so proud especially knowing about his anxiety!  Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for Reed – he is such a nice young man, and I enjoy having him in class.

YAHOO!! What a great note to get, all-around. We feel like we're raising a pretty good kid, but it's always nice to get this kind of confirmation from other people. Reed also said he thought it went pretty well, and wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. He was pretty worried about it, since it was his first time having to do something like that in high school – we tried to tell him it wasn't really different than middle school, it's all the same kids – but when you're anxious, you're anxious. I'm so proud that he did well!

Maybe we're making some progress!

Women's March 2018

This year, Amy decided she'd go with me to the Women's March in DC. Last year, I didn't really try to get her to go, because I was concerned – totally unnecessarily, it turns out – that safety might be an issue. In hindsight, I wish I'd brought her then. But she also wasn't as socially engaged as she is now, so I'm not sure she would have been into it.

But she's become a lot more interested in social issues now (boy, don't get her started! you won't heard the end of it! – in a good way) so she was on board this time. It helped that the weather was going to be ideal – high 50s. Can't ask for more for late January in DC.

The night before, we each made our own signs. The 'theme' this year was voting rights, so I went with that. Amy found a Wonder Woman quote online and it was perfect!

We went with Liz, who is the Chair of our Dulles District Democrats. Last year the walk was SO crazy crowded, so far beyond what anybody expected, but this year we knew there'd be fewer of us – we just weren't sure how much smaller the crowd would be. We just hoped we wouldn't be the only 3 people there! We got into the city with zero traffic, parked and started walking over to the Lincoln Memorial, where the speeches would be. There were almost zero people on the streets. But it was early, and the crowd turned out to be pretty decent.

The march makes for great people watching, and the creativity people show with their signs is pretty wild. One difference this year (other than the smaller crowd) is that there were anti-abortion protesters there this time...mostly men, too (which didn't go unnoticed by Amy). They weren't disruptive or anything, it just added a different dimension to things.

Unfortunately it turned out that Liz had a friend there, and she was sitting on a wall to the side of the stage, and Liz wanted to hang out with her. I so wish I'd been more assertive and moved Amy and me over in front of the stage, so that we might have heard anything the speakers had to say. As it was, we were basically just standing around for 3+ hours of speakers who we couldn't really see and who sounded like the adults on Charlie Brown. Womp womp. Because the government shutdown (#TrumpShutdown – happy first anniversary as POTUS!), extra Congresspeople showed up, and you know if they show up you have to let them talk. The speakers went on SO much longer than they should have - eventually people just started wandering away. We followed, hoping that they knew what the march route was supposed to be (because we didn't...it wasn't the most organized of events).

The march itself was actually really short – seemed like just a handful of blocks. There were chants – some of which I opted out of (I don't like the ones that call 45 ugly or are otherwise disparaging in an excessive way). I think the thing that made the biggest impression on Amy was when the chant "My body, my choice" started and the men chanted "Her body, her choice" in response. Totally organic moment. The march ended by the back of the White House.

Amy hated the standing around endlessly, which is why I'm even more irritated at myself that we didn't move to a spot where we could hear the speakers. But overall she said she loved it, and was really glad she went.

I have a feeling it won't be her last protest march. I told Tod that we should probably keep a little bucket of money to bail her out of jail for protesting...seems like that might happen one day. As Congressman and civil rights leader John Lewis says....#GoodTrouble.

On the ride home, Amy also shared some things that've happened to her at lunch. A boy that she used to be great pals with in elementary school sits with her group some days. Evidently he sometimes calls people the r-word, and Amy has stood up to him and told him that's not okay (VERY proud of her for that). He laughed it off. The same boy has also asked her if she was 'triggered' by that comment – man, where is that kid getting that stuff? He also asked her if she was an SJW – she wasn't totally sure what that was, but it's a right-wing 'insult' to call people Social Justice Warriors if they are active to help causes that help people. (Not much of an insult, is it??) Amy wasn't sure how, or if, she should respond to something like that. I told her she could just ignore it, or she could tell him "Yes, you're right, I am a SJW and I stand up for things and people that I believe in!" We'll see if it comes up again. I was glad she told me about it.

Amy also said that she wished there was something she could do to help. So I'll see if we can find more ways for her to get involved. I'm hoping that the Young Democrats club at the high school will be up and running by the time she gets there – that'd be a great fit for her!

Reed the cook

Last summer Reed did a lot of baking. This fall he has shown an interest in making dinner in the evenings. This is helping his confidence and is a fun thing that he and his Mom do together. As a Freshman in High School it's funny to see him trying to cook while wearing his headphones and getting distracted by his phone. It's interesting to see him learning to cook since he doesn't seem altogether interested in learning to cook, he just sort of goes along with what Mom tells him to do, but he can't help himself in contradicting his Mom. "I can't touch the cheese grater, it has sharpies on it!" I love it when he helps cook dinner due to the friendly banter that comes out of the kitchen.

I remember being his age and asking for help with things. Then when I realized I was wrong I sort of played dumber and dumber. He does the exact same thing. Mom shows him how to take apart the spinning cheese grater and he sort of grabs it even more incorrectly and plays dumb. I don't think he knows he's doing it. Funny.

It must be noted (by Mom) that he pretty much only offers to make dinner on odd days, because that means he won't have to do the dishes after. Not sure it's a fair trade, but we'll take it. Hopefully some of the things he's learning are sinking in.