Lasts

I guess this is a fitting post for the final day of the year. I've been thinking lately about "lasts".

It's easy to track some firsts, and even know exactly when they're going to happen - first time meeting grandparents, first airplane flight, first time at the ocean, first day of school, first roller coaster ride. It's easy to document those firsts and hold them in your memory forever.

You don't know when some other firsts are going to come - at least not exactly. First smile, first steps, first tooth lost. The excitement of these expressions of growth are so wonderful. Babies are basically blobs the first couple of months of life - and then you get that first real smile and everything changes. They have personality! They can give something back! It's amazing and beautiful. Firsts are incredible.

But "lasts"....well, they are different. You don't realize a "last" has happened until much later. We've already past so many lasts - the last time we'll hold a sleeping infant, the last time we'll put a baby to sleep in a crib, the last time we'll send a child off to kindergarten. But there are other lasts that are still to come for us. The last time your child holds your hand without a thought of what anyone else might think, just wanting that sense of security and comfort. The last time they wander into your room at night, climbing into bed and going right back to sleep. The last time they enjoy having you visit their classroom to help out. The last time they'll take a nap with you. These lasts are going to come and go and we probably won't even know it until months or even years go by.

I'm trying not to dwell on these things, instead focusing on savoring these special moments every time they happen. I'm so grateful for our beautiful, loving children. I wish I could keep them little, but I know that's not possible. I'll just do my best to enjoy every single stage.