A sad time

Grandaddy Wenzell, circa 1944.

My grandfather, Ralph Wenzell, passed away during the early morning hours last Friday. He was 89 years old and Alzheimer's had taken away most of his memory over the last few years. Though his body was still here, his mind was not. It was an incredible challenge for my grandmother Thelma to take care of him, with the help of my Dad, during all this time.

The kids have really shown their kindness during the last several days. Several times they've told me "I'm sorry your granddaddy died, mama". Today both attended the viewing, funeral service and burial. I don't think they really understood what was going on, but they behaved well. They had each only seem him maybe a dozen times in their lives, so unfortunately they weren't able to know him well....plus he wasn't himself during a lot of their lives. Actually, the last time that Great Granddaddy left the house prior to his moving to a nursing home 4 days before his death, was for last Thanksgiving. When we were leaving, all on her own, Amy gave him a hug goodbye. I was a little surprised by that because she didn't really know him at all, but then not too surprised because she's such a sweet spirit. I took that as a sign, actually, that we might not see him again - I think kids have a sixth sense sometimes. It was comforting to know that one of his last interactions with my family was one of embracing kindness, whether he was aware of it or not.

Tonight as I was putting Reed to bed, I thanked him for being so good today and told him I knew it was hard. We talked a bit more about Great Granddaddy's death, and I told Reed Great Granddaddy wasn't coming back. I think that might have been the first time I said that to him, and it really hit him hard. Immediately his little lip started to quiver and he started to cry, and said "But what will happen to the person who's married to him?" I am so touched at his thoughtfulness that he was thinking of Great Grandma and worried about her. He didn't talk much after that, but cried more and I stayed with him until he fell asleep.

We are so blessed to have such kind, caring children. This is a painful life lesson to learn and I'm so sad to see it, but they have really shown me once again how wonderful they are through all this.

I was so lucky to have all four of my grandparents through 38 years of my life - I don't know too many people who can say the same. I'll always miss him but will carry him in my heart.