I just finished reading The Thursday Murder Club. It isn't my usual type of book, but one day I was at the BJ's Warehouse store browsing the books, and another customer gave it an unsolicited recommendation. So I said, why not try something new.
The book itself isn't that important or noteworthy, but it contained a line that really resonated with me as a parent of kids who are growing up too fast. Joyce, an older woman in a senior living community, is writing about her adult daughter Joanna, who is visiting from out of town:
“Joanna brought a bottle of wine with her. There is something special about it, but I’m afraid I’ve forgotten what it is. One day she will realize that she is the something special.”
This line just struck me because I think kids don't realize how thoroughly and desperately their parents love them. I can put myself in Joyce's shoes, and think how happy it will make me to get a visit from Reed or Amy, and how they will probably not have any idea how much their visit means. I know I never got to this grown-up realization with my own Mom, but now I can think about how much she loved me and the feelings she went through as I grew up into my own life, doing some things right and some things wrong. How much it all must have affected her. How I wish she were still here. It also makes me wish I'd spent more time with my grandparents, which is a regret that I now cannot fix.
Anyway, it was just a silly little book but this stayed with me. I hope we get lots of visits from our kids when they're all grown up, and that they always know how loved they are.
It reminds me of the song "When You're My Age" by Lori McKenna, which makes me cry every single time...
When you're my age
I hope the world is kinder
Than it seems to be right now
And I hope the front page isn't just a reminder
Of how we keep letting each other down
When I was your age
Things didn't seem to be this hard
Riding bikes out on the street
Playing tag in the back yard
You'll outgrow your shoes
You'll outgrow your bed
You'll outgrow this house
Just don't forget
When you're all grown up
But you don't feel that way
You're still gonna be my baby
Even when you're my age
When you're my age
You'll still be full of questions
That I wish I had the answers to right now
And those dark times might make you second guess it
But I bet love will still be making the world go round
When I was your age
I didn't worry like I think you do
Back then innocence was something
You could hold onto
You'll outgrow your shoes
You'll outgrow your bed
You'll outgrow this house
Just don't forget
When you're all grown up
But you don't feel that way
You're still gonna be my baby
Even when you're my age
When you have kids someday
I hope you teach them the Lord's Prayer
Before they go to bed at night
Like my daddy did for me and his mother before him
Well something about it just keeps you right
And I hope you don't work too much overtime
So you can be right there beside them
When they close their little eyes
'Cause they'll outgrow their shoes
They'll outgrow their beds
They'll outgrow that house
And you can't stop it
Life will line your face
Time will turn the page
But they're still gonna be your babies
Just like you're still gonna be my baby
Even when you're my age
Even when you're my age
