Messages

I was reading the September issue of The Sun magazine (an incredible literary magazine that I've subscribed to for years and really love) and there was an essay by Morgan Talty called "Messages" that is about their mother's death and how they felt their mom would have left some message behind for them. 

Morgan's mom did, in fact, leave behind a message, which read in part:

I believe that I will always walk beside you children. So believe that as well. Speak to me often because I will hear you.

This is a message that I'd also like our children to hear and believe. I'll always be with them.

(This time of year is a little melancholy, in case you haven't guessed by the last two posts.)

"She is the something special"

I just finished reading The Thursday Murder Club. It isn't my usual type of book, but one day I was at the BJ's Warehouse store browsing the books, and another customer gave it an unsolicited recommendation. So I said, why not try something new.

The book itself isn't that important or noteworthy, but it contained a line that really resonated with me as a parent of kids who are growing up too fast. Joyce, an older woman in a senior living community, is writing about her adult daughter Joanna, who is visiting from out of town:

“Joanna brought a bottle of wine with her. There is something special about it, but I’m afraid I’ve forgotten what it is. One day she will realize that she is the something special.”

This line just struck me because I think kids don't realize how thoroughly and desperately their parents love them. I can put myself in Joyce's shoes, and think how happy it will make me to get a visit from Reed or Amy, and how they will probably not have any idea how much their visit means. I know I never got to this grown-up realization with my own Mom, but now I can think about how much she loved me and the feelings she went through as I grew up into my own life, doing some things right and some things wrong. How much it all must have affected her. How I wish she were still here. It also makes me wish I'd spent more time with my grandparents, which is a regret that I now cannot fix.

Anyway, it was just a silly little book but this stayed with me. I hope we get lots of visits from our kids when they're all grown up, and that they always know how loved they are. 

It reminds me of the song "When You're My Age" by Lori McKenna, which makes me cry every single time...

When you're my age

I hope the world is kinder

Than it seems to be right now

And I hope the front page isn't just a reminder

Of how we keep letting each other down

When I was your age

Things didn't seem to be this hard

Riding bikes out on the street

Playing tag in the back yard

You'll outgrow your shoes

You'll outgrow your bed

You'll outgrow this house

Just don't forget

When you're all grown up

But you don't feel that way

You're still gonna be my baby

Even when you're my age

When you're my age

You'll still be full of questions

That I wish I had the answers to right now

And those dark times might make you second guess it

But I bet love will still be making the world go round

When I was your age

I didn't worry like I think you do

Back then innocence was something

You could hold onto

You'll outgrow your shoes

You'll outgrow your bed

You'll outgrow this house

Just don't forget

When you're all grown up

But you don't feel that way

You're still gonna be my baby

Even when you're my age

When you have kids someday

I hope you teach them the Lord's Prayer

Before they go to bed at night

Like my daddy did for me and his mother before him

Well something about it just keeps you right

And I hope you don't work too much overtime

So you can be right there beside them

When they close their little eyes

'Cause they'll outgrow their shoes

They'll outgrow their beds

They'll outgrow that house

And you can't stop it

Life will line your face

Time will turn the page

But they're still gonna be your babies

Just like you're still gonna be my baby

Even when you're my age

Even when you're my age

Shenandoah bound?

Shenandoah University is Amy's top choice for college (most days). She's got her application in there and also at Christopher Newport University. This past weekend, we went to Shenandoah for her portfolio review and interview, and it went really well! She won't get the official word for a couple weeks, but as we were leaving they essentially winked and said it is a safe bet she'll get in. SU sure seems like it will be a good fit for her, it's a small school with a well-respected theatre program and they really cater toward ensuring their students will be employed in their field following graduation. Plus it's just an hour away. 

We are still hoping she will visit Virginia Tech after talking with them at the theatre conference she went to in October, and we hope she will still consider CNU, but it seems like her mind is mostly made up. 

We will see what happens!

What is even happening?

On Saturday night, Reed had a bunch of friends over to watch a movie. On Sunday, Amy had a bunch of friends over to play Dungeons and Dragons. After so much isolation during covid, and so much that our kids missed out on, it was a joy to have a houseful of both kids' friends.  

20!

Somehow our baby boy turned 20! His birthday fell during Amy's show, so even though it fell on a Saturday, we weren't able to see him, unfortunately. He celebrated by going to the movies with his friends (the traditional Reed birthday celebration!). 

I am so proud of him. He manages his school stuff, and his new apartment life, all on his own and seems to be thriving. He has been subbing at the Harrisonburg schools as well as subbing here in Loudoun when he's home, and seems to be enjoying it. He's done different age groups, from preschool to high school, which I think is great for helping him to get the full picture of how it feels to be in different classrooms. Now there are still times when I shake my head at the things he doesn't know (case in point: how to clear his windshield on a frosty morning last week), but he's getting it done!

Happy 20th, favorite son!

Well, we made it 2.5 years...

Covid finally caught up with us, after two and a half years. Tod was on a work trip to Denver, and his team went out to dinner last Monday night. The guy sitting next to him was sick with covid the next day. By Thursday, Tod was sick too. He flew home (sorry to his fellow passengers!!) and has been isolating in our basement since then. Well a quick trip to the urgent care to get a paxlovid prescription, and a couple walks around the block, but otherwise just hanging out alone in the basement. He has felt rough (like a bad cold/flu) and some shortness of breath, but so far not horrible. Here's hoping he's back to normal soon, and he doesn't pass it to Amy or me. 

Honestly it's pretty lucky that no one in our family has picked up covid until now, so I think we've done a pretty good job for all this time. 

Way behind! Belated hello to senior year!

How did I get so behind?! Retired life is way too busy.

Amy kicked off her senior year, and finally things are nearly back to normal at school. She's one of the few kids still wearing a mask, but beyond that it's back to being how it was pre-pandemic. What a relief.

She is knee-deep in the fall play, staying after school five days a week and going in early two or three 

So far so good with all of her classes, and she is busy working on college applications (Shenandoah University and Christopher Newport University are her main choices). 

Let's hope it's a fantastic year!

There he goes

It has been so great having Reed home from college this summer! Even though he was busy with work, we still got some good quality time together. No "real" vacation, but we did go to MT for Sam's wedding and had some nice times with family, and then to NYC to see some shows and the sights. Would have been preferable to Reed that we didn't do the NYC trip (he'd rather just stay home!) but I think he had fun anyway.

This summer on his days off, you might find Reed on the front porch swing with a book...one of my favorite sights to see. He had a handful of outings with his high school friends, and I think he also really enjoyed his job at the summer camp.

A couple of weeks ago we drove down to Harrisonburg to check out the apartment we rented for him. It's a two bedroom, two bathroom condo on the second floor of an older complex, and he'll be living with his friend Will, who he met in class last year. Will seems a lot like Reed so it's no wonder they get along so well. I hope they'll enjoy living together (and I hope he'll clean the bathroom from time to time). 

Yesterday Reed headed back to school. Since we'd already done one trip, and the apartment is furnished, there was no reason for us to go down with him. So instead of us driving away from Harrisonburg, it was him driving away from home. It's so hard! We miss him already, but are so excited to see how he does with living in an apartment instead of a dorm. They made a dinner of spaghetti, garlic bread and salad last night so they're off to a good start!

We are very proud of Reed and know he's going to do great again this year. 

I so wish I had been there!

Yesterday at Reed's work they were having a field day, and that included a DUNK TANK!! Reed got in the tank and talked a bunch of smack to his group of five kids he was in charge of, sure they wouldn't be able to dunk him. But they did! Too bad we don't have that on video, I'd watch it over and over!

Look who's 50!

We have been celebrating Tod's 50th for a little while now. Started with a party with the Mitchell side of the family to celebrate all our June and July birthdays, then a small party at our house with neighbors, a few friends and the Wenzells, and then just our family last night for Tod's actual birthday. I hope he feels as celebrated as he deserves to be. We went to dinner last night, then came home to open gifts and have more cake and ice cream, then we played Skip Bo and had a Zoom call with Tod's siblings to finish things off. A great day.

Tod gave me a jar with notes on "50 reasons we love you" when I turned 50, so I did the same for him. The kids each did five cards, and these were my 40:

1. You love naps.
2. You like to stay home.
3. You truly love your job.
4. You set goals and then reach them.
5. You make the same (bad) jokes over and over.
6. You love #DadJokes.
7. You didn't really want a cat, but you love Eddie.
8. You give our kids an amazing example of how to live.
9. You support me in all that I do.
10. You teach our kids things they need to know.
11. You are dedicated to your family.
12. You are super smart.
13. You take good care of our finances, so I don't worry about it.
14. Everyone knows they can count on you.
    
15. You value your time and spend it wisely.
16. You tell Larson family stories and everyone loves it.
17. You walk with me most every morning and evening.
18. You found a fun sport that you enjoy doing.
19. You really really really love Top Gun.
20. You love ice cream (me too).
21. You miss your parents (me too).
22. You honor your parents by being an amazing person.
23. You love a "special treat" drink from McDonald's (me too).
24. You serve our community on the pantry board.
25. You're always up to go to a concert with me.
26. You are self-assured and confident.
27. You track my whereabouts on your phone, to be sure I'm safe.
28. You make sure we can always park our cars in the garage.
29. You enjoy volunteering with theatre.
30. You appreciate a quiet morning drinking coffee.
31. You are even-tempered.
32. You love my family as much as your own.
33. You enjoy doing things with my family.
34. You are good at parties even though socializing is stressful for you.
35. You make Elf references in June.
36. You put up with me not wanting to eat the same kind of food two nights in a row.
37. You are a supportive father.
38. You love our family traditions.
39. You also have trouble getting rid of stuff (it's a process).
40. You are a good sport.

Here's to many more happy, healthy years!

[The fact that I typed this list up before writing it down on the cards is one of the reasons we get along so well, by the way.]

Melancholy, I guess

It's been so good having Reed home for the last six weeks, but I swear about two weeks in I was already pre-sad that he would be leaving again in August. Not to mention that once Amy is back to school in August, we will hardly see her, and then a year from now she will be off to college too.

Sure it's the natural order of things, and the way it's all supposed to go, but that doesn't mean it can't still be difficult and sad! You spend all these years having these people around you every single day, and then suddenly (if you can call "after 18+ years" 'suddenly') you're just supposed to let them go? What kind of insanity is this? It just feels kinda lonely is what I'm saying. 

Of course I want Reed and Amy to be successful adults, living on their own, but man it is it an adjustment to our lives as parents to think about that. I wonder how often we'll get to see them, how often we'll talk, where they're live, whether they'll be okay, whether we'll be around to be part of their lives. 

Something clever about the Circle of Life here

I suppose all we can do is to prepare them, and ourselves, as best as we can for the different seasons life brings us.

Catching up

Clearly I haven't been writing too many posts here, I haven't posted anything since Amy's birthday more than three months ago.

Let's see, we did college tours over spring break, visiting Old Dominion University (a hearty 'maybe'), Christopher Newport University (a big thumbs up, because it has a theatre arts management degree) and James Madison University [heard of it? 😉] (polite thumbs down). Still on her list to consider is Shenandoah University in Winchester, but we decided to wait until school is back in session to go there so we can get a true feel for it. 

Amy went to prom and had a good time with her friends. The dress we ordered from amazon fit perfectly and she looked lovely.

Reed finished up his freshman year at JMU, and made the Dean's List again (woo hoo!). The last part of the year seemed to be pretty strange with him and his roommate not really talking to each other, just co-existing, but at least there was no drama to go along with that. Reed was glad to get home to his own room and a private shower...Shorts Hall was a terrible dorm and I'm glad it's in the rear view mirror. 

Reed applied for a job with Loudoun County Public Schools as a substitute teacher, but started on the process a little too late to get any work in this school year. Hopefully he will be all set for next school year whenever he's home on break, though. He applied for a job with the Loudoun Parks & Rec's summer camp program, and was hired to work at the Dulles Rec Center's program. He's been at it a few weeks, including the setup and training time, and it seems to be going well so far. The camps take trips most days to either a hiking spot or Kings Dominion. I think he is worn out after working a 10-hour day in the heat. But he seems to like it, and it pays pretty well ($15.50/hour) so that's good!

Tod, Reed and I flew to Montana for Sam and Madison's wedding in Roundup, and had a great time seeing everyone. Tod stayed behind and went with Sam, Martha and a bunch of Sam's friends on a five-day river float, which he loved. He stayed in MT for 18 days total.

Amy and her friend Tree at the Cappies Gala

Amy got to get dressed up fancy again to go to the Cappies awards (local high school theatre awards) which are held at the Kennedy Center. 

I got to chaperone the Fine Arts field trip with dinner at Red Robin and then on to the Kennedy Center to see "Jersey Boys" as well, which was fun! I even met actress Phylicia Rashad, which was wild. The night was a little awkward for Amy as she had just broken up with Ashley a week before, but she was a trooper. 

With Kayla Zee and Tree
at Jersey Boys

Amy finished up her junior year, which is hard to believe. We are now just 2.5 weeks into summer break and she's already wishing school would start again...well, not really school so much as theatre. She has just started working for David's real estate business, helping him out with social media and other stuff TBD. I hope it goes well!

Just after Amy finished up with school, she flew to Montana by herself to join Tod and go to Shane and Hannah's wedding in Wibaux. She got to hang out with her aunts and cousins and they had a nice visit. 

Let's see, what else? The country has gone haywire and things are not great, but still we persist.

17!

Amy celebrated her 17th birthday by having a show for musical theatre class, which she is the teacher's assistant for. "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee" had its first showing on her birthday and then again the following night, and it was a super funny show. I think it was a little tiring to spend your birthday going to school and then staying at theater for five plus hours after that, but she was with her people so it was all good!

It's been a big week or two, with Amy being asked to prom by Ashley, who she also does stage management with. So now they are officially dating and that's a whole new world for us, since Reed hasn't jumped in that particular pool just yet. We will all find our way through it! 😀 I am happy that she's going to her first high school dance, and she was excited to choose a prom dress to order online (now we are anxiously awaiting its arrival and hoping it fits without alterations!). Many more decisions still to come – shoes, hair, jewelry, dinner location, and more. 

I am very grateful that this has been a semi-normal junior year, though it's not been without its covid-related challenges. When our *^@($_ governor decided to stop localities from requiring masks at school, that was particularly hard for Amy, and she is still wearing a mask and is not comfortable being around those at school who aren't (well, she happily has meals next to lots of people not wearing masks, but that doesn't count in her mind). When you've been told to do something to keep people safe for nearly two years, I understand that it's hard to make the switch. So we do our best to support her, while also trying to help her understand that the risks are not the same as they once were, and we're not going to wear masks forever (though it sure was nice not to go nearly two years without getting a cold!). 

Amy spends pretty much five days a week after school at theater, and sometimes Saturdays too. It's a full schedule and a tiring one, but clearly she enjoys it and I think she still has enough time to do some fun things with friends and also have down time. 

She is starting to think about what she might want to do after high school graduation, which is exciting. We have a few college tours lined up for spring break next month, so we will see what she thinks about the whole idea now that it's closer to reality....I think when she visited CNU, VCU and JMU with Reed, it was too far-off of a concept. 

Happy #17, Amy, we love you so much and are so proud of you! 

Trying to make up for lost time

This past weekend was Freedom Theatre's production of Disney's Beauty and the Beast. The kids did a tremendous job, as usual.

I am personally still recovering from volunteering so much during the Tech Weeks, another VHSL competition, and then the four days of shows. 

All the Head Techs after the show

From February 15 through 27, I was at school for hours pretty much every day. I was also doing a million errands – picking up show t-shirts, picking up Playbills, picking up dinners for 100+ kids, going to Walmart/Target and Costco/BJ's day after day buying snacks and concessions. I helped serve meals and supervised the backstage area. I price-shopped for the best prices for roses we could sell individually at the shows. I helped set up the lobby for concessions and Break-a-Leg-a-Gram sales. I also prepared 1,500 "Break-a-Leg-a-Grams" in a new format. I have no idea how many hours I gave, but it was a lot! 

And it was SO terrific to be part of it all! I had the opportunity to see the kids "in action" and get to know some of them a little better. And since I was there helping clean up after the final show, I even got to watch the "follies" where the Head Techs basically perform the play at triple speed, using as many actual lines from the script as they can, but mostly paraphrasing and zipping through it. I don't think Amy really approved of my being there, but oh well! They had a great time and I felt very lucky to see it.

I hate it so much that because of the pandemic we all missed a year and a half of school time where Amy could have been doing in-person theatre and I could have been volunteering. But I won't lament lost time, I will just do all I can to make the most of the next year+ before Amy graduates!

Sad to be back to three plates at dinner again

Yesterday we took Reed back to JMU. We went a day earlier than planned because a snow storm was coming. It wasn't really any easier than our original drop-off, knowing we probably won't see him for two months.

Getting out three dinner plates is the first painful reminder that he's away at school. 

Over the break, Reed and I went to two movies together; Reed and Tod went to one movie; Reed, Tod and I went to one movie; and all four of us went to one movie. Reed was able to spend some time with his neighborhood pals playing spikeball and hanging out. He didn't do much work...not many Woofies jobs came through. But he certainly got enough "down" time to relax after his successful first semester at college (three B's and two A's!). 

The kids got along better, though honestly they didn't see a ton of each other. Sometimes Reed's sarcastic nature is really hard for Amy and she takes it quite personally – there are also a lot of times when he's fairly rude to her (for example, not answering a question she directly asks him). We talked with Reed about trying harder to be kind to her, and he took it to heart. It wasn't perfect, but it was better.

Now that we've done this college drop-off thing a couple of times, and just thinking about the fact that this fall Amy will start her senior year of high school....it's hard! Sure, this is all what's supposed to happen, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I hope we will weather it all well. 

Meanwhile, I will look forward to having Reed home again for his spring break (less than two months to go!) and making the most of Amy's last year and a half of high school.